Girlfriend Patti and I found this when we were rummaging through some old books that a store was giving away for free. It’s an article from Reader’s Digest circa 1966, although it originally appeared in the women’s magazine McCall’s more than a decade earlier.
As a man with six sisters, 16 nieces, a mother and a full-time girlfriend, I was pretty darn excited to find this gem from the past.
Finally men have the answers to all the age-old questions that have plagued us from the dawn of time, and we have those answers straight from the horse’s mouth–from a woman.
by JUDITH CHURCHILL
Why are women so clumsy at pitching a ball and running? Lay it to bone structure. The reason most women can’t pitch an efficient overhand may be connected with the “carrying angle” of their arms. The average woman’s arms are more bent at the elbow than a man’s. This may help to cause the stiff downward motion in ball-throwing that men find so hilarious.
Most women also are knock-kneed; their legs are built in the same bent angle as their arms. Men’s legs are usually straighter, like their arms. That’s why men run straight and gracefully and women awkwardly, throwing their legs in an arc. It’s why, too, women have a harder time with balance and are more prone to tumbles-a fact for which insurance companies will vouch.
How can a woman get away with such flimsy clothes in cold weather?
First, she’s better upholstered. Nature has padded women with a layer of subcutaneous fat, which acts as first-rate insulation to hold heat in, keep cold out. Second, a woman’s metabolism is a lot more flexible than a man’s. It ups heat production in winter and slows it down in summer. In hot weather a woman gives off eight percent less heat per square inch of skin than a man does.
Why do women go on periodic frenzies of housecleaning and furniture-moving? The husband who comes home to find his favorite chair relocated can blame his wife’s thyroid gland. It’s larger and more active than his and gives her more pep and enthusiasm. She also has a regular monthly “nesting impulse” that sends her bustling about, making everything neat and orderly.
Why are women forever smelling something burning or hearing burglars? There is evidence that their senses may be keener than a man’s. A woman may be wrong in her conclusions, but she probably did hear something her husband didn’t. Her taste and touch senses are sharper, too.
Why are women such glib fibbers? Truth is, it’s the men who tell the whoppers. But most psychologists agree that women are more adept at “small fibs, deception, hoodwinking, exaggeration and evasion.” Like intuition, it’s an age-old weapon of the physically (not biologically) weaker sex. To compensate for their lesser strength women have always had to rely on strategy; they’ve taught themselves keener perception, observation and deduction. Women have learned that when they’re cornered it’s smarter for them to take to superior guerrilla tactics-word power and imagination.
Why are women always so suspicious of their husbands’ love of adventure? According to Richard Curle in Women, An Analytical Study, it’s this: The wife interprets it as an escape from obligations. Women think men are congenitally flighty and don’t take their jobs as husbands and fathers seriously enough. It frightens women to feel that they’ve handed over their lives to those who can’t be relied on.
Why do women go in for concerts and “culture” so much more than men? There’s a biological basis. Such things call for sitting still, and it’s hard for a man to sit still. Woman’s greatest avoirdupois is around her hips. This makes her more comfortable in chairs. A man is top-heavy, with his maximum weight around his chest and shoulders. He’s built for action, not sitting.
Why do women change their minds so much more often than men? They don’t. Women are more indecisive than men and take a long time to make up their minds. But once they have formed opinions they usually stick to them. Actually, it’s the men who are the mind-changers. Surveys by Dr. Karl F. Robinson, of Northwestern University, showed that men change their minds two or three times as often as women.
JUST DROPPIN BY TO SAY, I LOVE YO BAD MOUTH:-) MISS BABY RAE, THE NAKED PREACHER LADY, FROM YOUR LOCAL TV PUBLIC ACCESS TV….WELL HELL, IT IS FUCIN SACRAMENTO WE ALL GOTTA DEAL WITH…
I didn’t notice when I first read the article in Reader’s Digest that this piece was actually written by a woman. Amazing. My, how times have changed.
My personal favorite statement:
“How can a woman get away with such flimsy clothes in cold weather? First, she’s better upholstered. Nature has padded women with a layer of subcutaneous fat, which acts as first-rate insulation to hold heat in, keep cold out.”
Rarely have I seen one of your postings spark such controversy. The response has been overwhelming. I didn’t realize “the movement” was still at the forefront of America’s tumultuous social landscape. Kudos for having the courage to confront the tough issues.
Wow, who needs pre-marital counseling with a minister when this article tells me all I need to know…thanks!
Hey John, why are you lettin’ yer woman post here? She should be fixin’ you some steak and gettin’ you a cold one. There’s nothing on a ‘puter fer a woman, no sir.
this is all the information i needed to become the worlds greatest “playa”. ive learned that when i see an attractive woman wearing “flimsy clothes” i can entice her by offering to take her concerts and other cultural events, and if she tries to run away she will be too clumsy to get away or throw anything at me.
Thanks, I now find the admonition, (paraphrased) “know thyself”, explained poetically by Reader’s Digest which should be renamed, Writer’s Cramp.
Laughingly yours, Edie
My Julia Only asked me to help her move the dinning room table back against the wall and then asked me to help her move it back to where it was originally. She was also affraid to take the dog out because she saw a “vicious” coyote that was going to not only kill our two dogs but her as well.
LOL! Maybe back then women were more clumsy due to wearing more restrictive clothing and heels all the time. Wearing a skirt that hobbles your legs with stilts complicates movement. Also, it’s considered unladylike to actually walk and stand balanced; girls are taught to place their feet closer together. Never could do a decent overhand throw, though, but had a decent sidearm…
I think it was Martin Luther who came up with the whole “men are built for action, women for being passive” bs.
u guyz are crazay! u think there is something wrong with the wayz girls act, but honestly, is there anyway to change it?! i mean, damn! i dont get it. Guyz have problems with us every other freakin day of the week! lolz I mean, letz not even get into all the problemz that men have, that they could change!
Nice the way American Women stand on their own two feet. Gives us GUYS who were raised as MEN, one less thing to worry about.Gets tiresome carrying the World on your shoulders. I showed this site to some of my Girlfreinds and the most common comment about this site was “No wonder I throw like a Girl”. Oh,I just had to melt. Some Women still know how to knock a Man over with simple Femininity. No wonder I love Women so much.
i like it uo the butte yes i do!
Weird, but hey you guy’s in the US of A see everything upside down and inside out.
Brit’s just ‘Do it good’
I remember reading this article when it was first published. Every word of it was true then, and it’s still true now. It’s just become politically incorrect to say that there are any “hard” differences between the sexes — which makes the desirability of saying it greater than ever.
She is returning to Sacramento Access in 2004!! New shows being formulated as we speak. There is a GOD!!
Dickens? Ho ho lots of Hos..World class playa…my oh my…
This was great! Better than Garfield any day.
This is one of the most halirious pieces I’ve read here. Thanks!
I just wana point out that women’s hips are there for pushing bowling ball size humans out of them, not for sitting. And concidering women can still play baseball and run usually better than alot of pathetic “manly men”, we make up for our lack of buid pretty well id say. This aritcle shows that physically (but not biologically)- whatever that means- sex may have been delt a crappy hand but that just means we totally make up for it by kicking ass.