Valiant

[rating:2]
Director: Gary Chapman
Cast: Ewan McGregor, Ricky Gervais, Tim Curry, Jim Broadbent, John Cleese and John Hurt

Here’s your review of Disney’s animated pigeon movie, “Valiant,” in one word: Eh.

Expanding slightly on that theme, “Valiant” is a pretty by-the-numbers story of a plucky young underdog faced with a challenge that he, of course, overcomes. Accompanied by wacky sidekicks. So, like I said, eh.

The new computer-animated film is from Vanguard, not really from Disney. The Mouse House has pretty much given up on top-quality feature animation in favor of lower-budget direct-to-video projects and distributing the higher-quality output of Pixar (so far, at least) and, now, Vanguard.

With the Pixar deal expired and as yet unrenewed, Disney proably hopes little Vanguard will be the next Pixar. It probably won’t. The animation is okay here, nothing bad, little that’s spectacular, with some nice flying sequences – absolutely none of the pure wow that Pixar so relentlessly dishes up – but the story is completely subpar.

Disney’s stock in trade is fairy tales so mythically resonant you’re transported to another world. Pixar’s success is built on more contemporary stories that perfectly blend modern wit, sharp irreverence and broad adventure with touchingly sweet character moments. Valiant is aiming more for “Toy Story” and “Finding Nemo” territory than “Beauty and the Beast” or “Snow White,” but it falls way short of either, being as bland as a flock of pigeons.

The story, in brief: It’s 1944, and Britain is at war. The film doesn’t name the enemy, but they have German accents – you figure it out. Reflecting history, the film focuses on the use of carrier pigeons to get intelligence out of occupied France and into British military hands. But instead of being bred in little coops by humans (who are virtually unseen in the film) the birds are recruited nationwide, just like humans.

An undersized young pigeon oh-so-perfectly named Valiant dreams of being a war hero and heads off to London, despite everyone doubting he can make the cut. Befriended by a comical con-man slob, Valiant (and slob) only make the grade because of the new sidekick’s smooth talking. They go through basic training with a bunch of other ostensibly comic recruits and, though underprepared, are called upon to fly into France on a dangerous mission that could change the course of the war.

Facing evil Nazi falcons (who are never called Nazis and whose uniforms, flags and regalia never include the swastika), the pigeons survive against all odds, thanks to Valiant, who even manages to turn his small size into a pivotal advantage. Imagine that!

Ewan MacGregor is enthusiastic as ever voicing the lead role. The real standout is London con artist Bugsy, as voiced by Ricky Gervais. Gervais is the brilliant star and co-creator of the British comedy “The Office.” As the boss on that pseudo-documentary, Gervais assayed a cluelessly self-aggrandizing loser whose awkward silences painfully exposed not only his inadequacies, but his own sneaking suspicion of them.

As Bugsy, Gervais allows no pauses and gives us the caffeinated version of the same character, making for light comic bounce rather than the squirm-inducing pathos of his sitcom version. There’s other people here. Um, Tim Curry is the Nazi leader, chewink der zeenery der vay moofie Nazis alvays do. John Cleese applies his standard stuffiness and bombast to a captured carrier whose main purpose is to establish how evil the Nazis are. Tough sell, that. Oh, John, how long it’s been since “A Fish Called Wanda.” Sigh.

This brings up one of the less savory aspects of the film: War as fodder for children’s entertainment. The Nazis torture Cleese for information, and we’re shown evil tools of standard torture – knives and such. But, for comedy’s sake, Curry’s falcon unleashes a worse punishment – Polka music, played constantly and loudly! Ha ha, that’s funny, because polka music sucks and it’s like torture. Yes, funny if you haven’t heard of Abu Ghraib or Guantanamo Bay. And of course, many of the youngest in the audience haven’t — but it’s a little uncomfortable for the rest of us.

Worse is Valiant’s enthusiasm to sign up and be a war hero. Since the film cannot, of course, come remotely close to demonstrating the true horrors of war, the net effect is to make running off to war seem fun. At a time when our military is trying harder and harder to get kids to run off to our current war, which by most accounts isn’t fun. I don’t live far from Berkeley, so I’m conditioned to imagine protesters in front of the theater denouncing the flick as kiddie propaganda. And while I wouldn’t be marching on that picket line, I do have to say that making war seem like a fun romp is a worse idea than usual when we’re having a real one and losing soldiers daily.

The kids in the screening audience didn’t seem to be thinking about this. The younger ones laughed heartily at the frequent slapstick. A lot of people fall down in this movie. Not much else brings laughs, and the progression through peril to victory is never really that thrilling. You could map it out on the back of two or three cocktail napkins, which may be how this film was plotted. Kids under six will like it, but they won’t wanna run out and buy Valiant toys and bedsheets. Older preteens will find that it holds their attention and does little more. Teens and grownups who see these movies out of an appreciation for animation won’t find anything to move them in the story, though geeks make have fun marveling over a few bird’s-eye-view flight shots and generally comparing this work to Pixar’s.

A last point, if you must see this: The pigeon cast includes some heroic birds of stature – war heroes – and there is little in the world of nature less heroic-looking than a pigeon. Whichever animator thought the solution was to give these pigeons big square jaws really needs to reconsider how improbably stupid a pigeon with a chin looks.

Tags: animation, ewan mcgregor