transformers: 1986 vs. 2007

The Transformers movie juggernaut has been merrily worming its way into America’s hearts and wallets for the past week. Although I haven’t seen it yet, I was struck by what a great cast they had put together: Hugo Weaving, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight. Then I thought back to the original Transformers movie, a mostly forgotten cartoon opus unleashed in theaters in 1986, and I realized that it may have had an even better cast. I decided there was only one way to find out: I pitted the cast of 1986 vs. the cast of 2007, mano-a-mano, in a battle to the death.

Eric Idle Wreck-Gar	Shia LaBeouf Sam Witwicky
European Vacation The Adventures of Baron Munchausen The Meaning of Life The Life of Brian Monty Python and the Holy Grail	Disturbia Bobby Holes Dumb and Dumberer The Even Stevens Movie

This is patently unfair, pitting a young actor in his first big movie against a seasoned vet like Idle, but the 1986 Transformers cartoon didn’t have any humans in it, so LaBeouf doesn’t have an obvious counterpart in the old film. Idle is a comic legend, a founding member of Monty Python and writer-producer of the Python-inspired Broadway smash Spamalot! But perhaps Idle’s proudest moment was when he voiced Wreck-Gar, leader of the “Junkions.” Wreck-Gar is notable for being the only robot in the series that had the ability to grow facial hair, sporting a wicked Fu-Manchu mustache and a soul patch. LaBeouf is a talented young actor who is likely destined for great things — but he hasn’t done them yet.

Point: 1986

Judd Nelson Hot Rod/Roddimus Prime	Josh Duhamel Captain Lennox
“Suddenly Susan” Airheads New Jack City St. Elmo’s Fire The Breakfast Club	“Las Vegas” “Crossing Jordan” Turistas Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! “All My Children”

It would be easy to throw this one to Duhamel, Nelson’s career appears to be safely regulated to direct-to-DVD titles found in the “bargain bin” at your local Blockbuster, but I think you need to compare 1986’s Nelson to 2007’s Duhamel. In 1986, Nelson was one year out from the one-two punch of The Breakfast Club and St. Elmo’s Fire. In contrast, Duhamel has done a crappy torture-porn horror flick and starred in a few mediocre TV shows. He can demand a recount when he has done anything as good as The Breakfast Club.

Point 1986

Scatman Crothers Jazz	Bernie Mac Bobby Bolivia
The Shining One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Silver Streak The AristoCats Symphony in Black	“The Bernie Mac Show” Mr. 3000 Head of State Ocean’s 11 Booty Call

Bernie Mac and Scatman Crothers are quite similar — gifted character actors who frequently steal scenes from the big-name Hollywood stars they are supposed to be supporting. But, in a reoccurring theme, Crothers has just been doing it longer than Mac. Crothers first appeared as jazz legend Billie Holiday’s lover in 1935’s Symphony in Black. 50 years later he lent his voice to the Autobot Jazz in his last film. Crothers also appeared in comedies like Silver Streak with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder and effortlessly shifted to drama opposite Jack Nicholson in MilosForman’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and again in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining.

Point 1986

Leonard Nimoy Galvatron	Hugo Weaving Megatron
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Invasion of the Body Snatchers “Mission: Impossible” “Star Trek”	V for Vendetta The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring The Matrix Babe The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

It struck me when researching this article how similar Nimoy and Weaving are: both are talented actors with amazing voices; both created iconic science fiction/fantasy characters in genre-defining programs and films; amd both wore pointy ears for a time. But Weaving learned from Nimoy’s mistake. He has defined the roles he played, not the other way around. It is telling that three of the five projects I listed for Nimoy contain the words “Star Trek.” For better or worse, Mr. Spock put a Vulcan nerve pinch on Nimoy’s career. Weaving, on the other hand, has managed to shift effortlessly from a transvestite cabaret performer in Priscilla to The Matrix’s evil Agent Smith to the noble elf Elrond of Middle-Earth. Tough call, but I’m giving it to the Aussie.

Point 2007

Orson Wells Unicron	Jon Voight John Keller
The Muppet Movie Touch of Evil The Third Man Macbeth Citizen Kane	Ali Heat Deliverance Catch-22 Midnight Cowboy

As great an actor as Voight is, this is a no-brainer. Wells created what is consistently credited as the greatest movie ever made, Citizen Kane. He followed that with tour de force performances in Macbeth, the film noir classic The Third Man and Othello. Even after the constant battles with the both studios and alcohol had taken their toll, Wells was still able to lend his formidable gravitas to such instant classics as The Muppet Movie. Reduced to commercials and voice-over work by the eighties, he was still arguably the greatest maverick genius Hollywood had ever produced. Voigt has given the world a few memorable roles and — to his credit — Angelina Jolie. It’s not even close.

Point 1986

Summary

1986: 4 points
2007: 1 point

Let me be clear, I believe that the 2007 version of the Transformers is superior to the 1986 version in almost every conceivable way — except for the cast. The producers of the 1986 movie were consistently able to get top-notch actors who were slightly past their expiration date. Although the pay was crappy, cartoon voiceover work was considered easy money and that helped them draw extremely talented actors. So ooh and aah all you want over Michael Bay’s latest overblown CGI extravaganza, but realize that, pound for pound, it was the original cast that was the one that had more than meets the eye.

Trivia

Transformers: The Movie was the last film for both Orson Wells and Scatman Crothers.

Peter Cullin reprised his voice role as Optimus Prime in both films.

Charlie Adler, who voiced the Decepticon Starscream in the 2007 film, voiced the Autobot Silverbolt in the original series. Aside from Cullin, he was the only holdover from the original series.

Orson Wells was rumored to have hated the 1986 movie. When asked about his role, he couldn’t remember his character’s name, and describes his part as “a big toy who attacks a bunch of smaller toys.”

Michael Bay originally turned down this film, calling it a “a stupid toy movie.” He then remembered that he has said the exact same thing about Raiders of the Lost Ark while working at Lucasfilm in the early eighties. This led to the startling discovery that Michael Bay can do moderately acceptable work if he completely ignores his own instincts.

Casey Kasem and Don Messnick did voice work on the 1986 movie, reuniting the two voices behind Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, respectively. An interesting side-note: Lebanese Kasem eventually left the show due to its consistent stereotypical depiction of Arabs as terrorists. Rather than replacing his voice, the Autobot Cliffjumper was simply written out of the show.