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Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals

August 31st, 2007 by John Marcotte

Pink elephants on parade

Pink Elephants

Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?
A: Evidently, all of them.

It’s gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The “holier-than-thou” party has spent an awful lot of time on their knees this past year, but they haven’t been doing a lot of praying.

I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican I’ve met thinks the opposite.

But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it’s been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months.


Mark Foley

U.S. Representative
(September 28, 2006)

The Crime: Sending sexually laced, gramatically challenged instant messages and e-mails to teenaged boys in the Congressional page program for more than 10 years.

The Hypocrisy: Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. One of the foremost opponents of child pornography in the Senate.

The Quote: “get a ruler and measure it for me”

The Video:


Ted Haggard

Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals
(November 2006)

The Crime: Paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth.

The Hypocrisy: A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisors where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.

The Quote: “I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver.”

The Video:


Larry Craig

U.S. Senator
Senate Liason for Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign

(June 11, 2007)

The Crime: Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in an airport bathroom

The Hypocrisy: Craig twice voted against adding the words “sexual orientation” to the federal hate crimes law. Craig also voted to give states the right to refuse to recognize gay marriage–a right they already had, but the Senator wanted to really, really prove he didn’t like gay people.

The Quote: “I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things.”

The Video:


Bob Allen

Member of the Florida House of Representatives
Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign

(July 11, 2007)

The Crime: Offering an undercover cop $20 to allow Allen to blow him in a men’s room in a public park. After being arrested, Allen tried to explain that he only offered to blow the cop because the cop was a “burly black man” and he “didn’t want to become a statistic.”

The Hypocrisy: Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush’s friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state’s ban on gays adopting children, and he co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts” such as indecent exposure.

The Quote: “I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it.”

The Video:


Glenn Murphy Jr.

National Chairman of the Young Republicans
Chairman of the Clark County Republican Party

(July 28, 2007)

The Crime: Murphy got a fellow Young Republican drunk and then spent the night at his house. The other young man woke up in the middle of the night to find Murphy giving him mouth-to-penis resuscitation. After this incident, a 1998 sexual battery report came to light in which Murphy was alleged to have done the exact same thing.

The Hypocrisy: Murphy was a well-paid political consultant for Republican candidates and often advised them to use gay marriage as a wedge issue to paint their opponents as out of touch with traditional values.

The Quote: “I was in the Sound of Music in High School…don’t ask” (from his now-defunct Myspace page.)

The Video: Unfortunately, the Young Republicans took down all of their videos of Mr. Murphy. So instead, I give you:

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 12:17 am and is filed under The Five Spot. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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  53. 53
    The Top 5 Republican Gay Sex Scandals Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] This is too funny…Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?A: Evidently, all of them.Its gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The holier-than-thou party has spent an awful lot of time on their knees this past year, but they havent been doing a lot of praying.I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican Ive met thinks the opposite.But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, its been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months.http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-sca… [...]

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  56. 56
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  71. 71
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  72. 72
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  77. 77
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    [...] exhibit a; exhibit b. Filed under: Whatevs — JasonC @ 11:28 [...]

  80. 80
    Blogging On Meds - the Medicine Agency Blog Says:

    links from Technoraticonsider yourself god, and if he/she does exist then I’m pretty fuckin sure he/she has it under control and doesn’t need people like SALLY KERN (with questionably dike haircuts) telling us who to love. Speaking of questionably gay republicans…MARK FOLEY TED HAGGARD LARRY CRAIG BOB ALLEN GLEN MURPHY, JR. Sally Kern, (R) needs a reminder of what her job entails. A separation of church and state for starts, and most importantly, to treat ALL PEOPLE EQUALLY.

  81. 81
    Jeebus hates me, this I know. For some batshit-crazy dead-eyed hag from Okalahoma tells me so. « Another Kansas City Blog Says:

    [...] See also: Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Larry Cr…oh, just click here. [...]

  82. 82
    Democrat Governor of New York is a pricey pimp... - Tampa Forums Says:

    [...] from the regular news outlets, saying it is a tragedy. Oh the humanity. Here you go Scott: http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-rep…-sex-scandals/ That’s a list of the top five Republican-Gay-Dex-Scandals for you to ponder over I know [...]

  83. 83
    Circle Jerk at the Square Dance Says:

    links from TechnoratiUranus7) church bells/cash registers 6) worm 5) circus (x3) 4) nipple 3) drug/World Series 2) Lord of 1) prostitution/cock

  84. 84
    wartodas.com » Blog Archive » Spitzer’s dilemma Says:

    [...] I think we are in a hypocritical world where politicians are allowed to rob the public, give jobs to cronies and lie to start wars but if he has SEX all of a sudden he’s the anti-Christ.  Get over it people.  And like all the politicians that are calling for his resignation have no skeletons in their closets.  Come on, who are they trying to kid?  Almost all of ‘em have their hand in the cookie jar or sleeping with god knows what. [...]

  85. 85
    www.wartodas.com Says:

    links from Technoratis the anti-Christ. Get over it people. And like all the politicians that are calling for his resignation have no skeletons in their closets. Come on, who are they trying to kid? Almost all of ‘em have their hand in the cookie jar orsleeping with god knows what.This reminds me of a story about sex-ed class in middle school. The teacher asked the guys “How many of you masterbate?” Of course, NO ONE raised their hands. Then he said “Guess what? 90% of you do and the other 10% are liars.

  86. 86
    DB and McQ Says:

    links from Technoratih/t to Southern Beale for the heads up on this one (I read the blogs before the news I guess) Another douchebag. NewYork Gov Spitzer is linked to prostitution ring. Awesome. Apparently, it isn’t justRepublicanswho are having trouble living up to the high “Family Values” that they preach. Hopefully he will have the intelligence to resign rather than pull a Larry Craig. But let’s be thankful it wasn’t: 1. Gay Bathroom Sex

  87. 87
    OK State Rep Sally Kern says "[homosexuality] bigger threat than terrorism" - The Something Awful Forums Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] Turns out her son might be gay. http://www.queerty.com/sally-kern-s…y-son-20080312/ Just add it to the list. http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-re…y-sex-scandals/ [...]

  88. 88
    Jmha2013’s Weblog Says:

    links from TechnoratiTop Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals » Badmouth

  89. 89
    VN Boards - A typical Democrat at work in washington today Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] Since the printed word don’t grab ya, maybe you need movin’ pictures. http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/ [...]

  90. 90
    On Drinking Bleach « Just Above Sunset Says:

    [...] The list goes on and on, with all the reference material, but you get the idea – those with these cultural grievances are a disturbed lot. All this business about sex has unhinged them. Something very unhealthy is happening. That has been said many a time before, and the complete list, in the end, is rather boring, actually. For something shorter and punchier, with video clips, try this – the Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals. [...]

  91. 91
    TruckNet® Drivers RoundTable • View topic - The epidemic continues to spread Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] with.If he would have been of the other party(R) it would have been some dude he gave a $150.00 to Repub luv Maybe I’ll get mine done now that I’m retired! http://www.deadendcruisers.com/videos/j … [...]

  92. 92
    Right Wing Women better Looking - Page 7 - Political Forum Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] (proven by the Janet Jackson reaction), so why would they care how hot their women are? Meanwhile, half of these homophobes are taking it up the behind while trying to pass gay marriage bans. __________________ "Leaders cannot conduct foreign [...]

  93. 93
    Neo-con opposes gay marriage, anything coming through “back door” « countercritic Says:

    [...] you’re still looking for that kind of action, I’m sure Larry Kraig, or any of the other Top-5 closeted Republicans could give you pointers. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)“Defending” [...]

  94. 94
    Badlightstoppedplay -> Gay Replicans? Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] found this quite a laugh.The top 5 gay republican sex scandals.http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republica…y-sex-scandals/ [...]

  95. 95
    Hey I See Mykcob And Vincubus - America's Political Chat Room - A Hard Core Chat Politics Forum Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] You sure that is not these 5 guys?http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republica…y-sex-scandals/ [...]

  96. 96
    Anonymous Says:

    links from TechnoratiSecret gay sex

  97. 97
    MucheDumbre Says:

    links from Technorati? Some say no, it all started when Clinton was in office, he’s the one to blame for where we are now because he could have killed OBL and didn’t. He brought down this country when he had an affair in the white house and then lied about it.really?Was Mark Foley his fault? Was Larry Craig his fault? Did he turn Haggard into a queer junkie? Was Bob Allen ‘pure and moral’ before Clintion debauched him? Did Clinton force Cheney to give Haliburton billions in contracts and then force

  98. 98
    Christian Leaders UNITING for McCain! - R6Network.com Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] never see a right winger bash gays then get caught banging the hershey highway. http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-rep…-sex-scandals/ __________________ “The greatest lies are told before the marriage, after the hunt and during [...]

  99. 99
    Random Salad - Geek Culture Webozine » Pop This Pill Says:

    [...] major issue with the modern conservative movement in America is its hypocricy. They gay bash while secretly engaging in homosexual trysts. They want abortion to be made a crime, but don’t want the women who have abortions sent to [...]

  100. 100
    The Stanford Liberty Blog Says:

    links from Technoratiand homosexual sex toys was caught, in his bed with another man, by his wife. But not to fear! There are plenty of cures for ‘the gay’. Especially through Jesus. Old Larry “Wide Stance” Craig would be proud, probably along with the rest of the[G]ay [O]ld [P]arty.God forbid that attorneys, legislators, and elected officials worry about following constitutional principals rather than legislating what happens inside the bed room.

  101. 101
    Pop This Pill | abortive Says:

    [...] major issue with the modern conservative movement in America is its hypocricy. They gay bash while secretly engaging in homosexual trysts. They want abortion to be made a crime, but don’t want the women who have abortions sent to [...]

  102. 102
    Big Dan's Big Blog Says:

    links from Technoratito remove all references to its Alabama campaign chairman, Attorney General Troy King. (click to enlarge; this is a screenshot that lists Alabama Attorney General Troy King as McCain’s Alabama state chairman…BEFORE McCain scrubbed his site!)Here’s the “Top 5″ Republican gay sex scandals; that’s top 5 only, and only for that 1 year period.————————————————————————————- This might be the greatest, funniest, “tell it like it is” thing I’ve seen a politician say lately! Senator Hillary Clinton:

  103. 103
    Forums - So...is Chris Cooper gay in American Beauty? Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] bad writing to make a homophobe gay? Wow, real life is full of bad writing. __________________N E U R O P O L I S Scud Animation Vlog "My reviews cannot be [...]

  104. 104
    Cynics’ Party » Rapacious Schlong-Gobbling Gay-Bashing GOP Bathroom Goblin Bob Allen Still Guilty of Begging for Dick Says:

    [...] GOP stalwart he is,  apparently gobbling down all the schlong he could get in public bathrooms. Allen signed the gay-adoption ban and co-sponsored a piece of failed legislation that would have out… like begging cops to whip their dicks out for a hearty GOP suck-job in a public [...]

  105. 105
    pumpkinseeds & contradictions Says:

    links from Technorati**and this one is for my Democrat friends or just folks who love to dis the Republicans - and it has videos!http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/

  106. 106
    Part One: Down and Out with the McCain campaign « SchizoFrenetic Says:

    [...] wife for another woman is much better option than the “family values” espoused by the closet gays and elected officials who enjoy a bit of “paid” female companionship in their spare [...]

  107. 107
    Busted Can’t Be Trusted… « No Time for Trivia Says:

    [...] think that the term “Family Values” does not mean what they think it does.  You know, closeted gay, putting a For Sale sign in you Congressional seat, preaching the word while stealing the dollar, [...]

  108. 108
    Masson’s Blog - A Citizen’s Guide to Indiana » It’s Like These Guys Take Pride in Being Ignorant Says:

    [...] as manly as you can get. And, as Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, and Glenn Murphy remind us, there is nothing more conservative than manly men doing manly things with other men. This entry [...]

  109. 109
    /pol/ - Political Discussion Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] >>37707HAHA OH WOWhttp://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/ [...]

  110. 110
    Chris Toys Says:

    Larry Craig is well known as the wash room man. So what he is still a senator and a good one at that keep up the good work larry.
    Chris TX

  111. 111
    Grooveshark -- Blog Archive » OMG - Kelly Is On Tour, Betch Says:

    [...] Ohio, Kentucky and Florida. Because when I think of a gay old time, I think of devoutly Republican [...]

  112. 112
    Congrats to the Edwards’ Family Regarding the New Addition to the Fam! « Bcc:List.com Says:

    [...] August 9, 2008 Congrats to the Edwards’ Family Regarding the New Addition to the Fam! Posted by “No Longer Mass Emailing” under Your Inbox Misses Me   If there’s a anything to take away from Edwards finally admitting that he’s been lying for years, it’s that the dems (Clinton, Spitzer, Edwards) are cheating on their wives by banging chicks unlike these top 5 GOP sex scandals… [...]

  113. 113
    Detroit Mayor Jailed. - My Les Paul Forums Says:

    [...] Detroit Mayor Jailed. Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals Badmouth [...]

  114. 114
    BallReviews.com - Bowling Balls, Bowling Ball, Bowling Ball Reviews, BowlingBalls, Bowling Ball Review Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] than Barack Obama. So tell me, where is the bias?Right here, buddy….Why didn’t you post the link to your biased drivel? quote:Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?A: [...]

  115. 115
    John Edwards in the news - Page 2 - DodgeBoard.com - Forums Says:

    [...] Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals August 31st, 2007 by John Marcotte Pink elephants on parade Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet? A: Evidently, all of them. [...]

  116. 116
    Slog | The Stranger | Seattle's Only Newspaper Says:

    links from Technorati. You know, so if any of these guys do hook up with their Prince Charming, they can’t marry him. But that’s not hypocritical of you or McCain. That’s called being a Republican, a party that’s fine with supporting hetero-only marriage whilecruising for gay guys on the side.

  117. 117
    Obama's "punished with a baby" comment sparks protests - Page 10 - Political Forum Says:

    [...] say when suggesting that the abortions promote carelessness? BINGO!!!!! Ya’ don’t catch Republican-politicians in that [...]

  118. 118
    » Craigslist “Casual Encounters” Ads in the Republican and Democratic National Convention Cities » The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century : Joey deVilla’s Personal Blog Says:

    [...] mind that the Republicans have been trying to keep their sexual proclivities on the down-low given the number of gay sex scandals that have been attributed to them. Let’s not forget that Minneapolis is also home of the Larry Craig bathroom sex scandal, so [...]

  119. 119
    The Kama Dutra Says:

    links from TechnoratiIf you’re asking male teenage congressional pages tomeasure the length of their penis…you might be a closet case! If the only way you can get some Republican tubesteak down your throat is to take it while your fellow young Republicans are sleeping… You might be a closet case!

  120. 120
    obamarocks08.us » Pick Your ‘crite Says:

    [...] Richard Curtis, Larry Craig Bob Allen? http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/  Jim Bakker? [...]

  121. 121
    RELIGION AND POLITICS: Link .......... Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] dsmalln)YFOTResponse to Never heard of Murphy or Allen, probably obscure examples that you dug up…http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/  Respond to this message    D I S C L A I M E R JK’s Airgun Forums, [...]

  122. 122
    Cindy McCain wears a 300k outfit at the convention - Page 8 - Debate Politics Forums Says:

    [...] Party, though, since that’s where all the closet gays seem to be. Log Cabin Republicans - Home Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals Badmouth __________________ I agree with Mr. McCain. We need to stay in Iraq for 100 years, then [...]

  123. 123
    brickbat Says:

    links from TechnoratiThe GOP knows their base and had 9udy 11uliani direct and produce this sadistic film about 9/11 before WALNUTS! spoke so delegates would have something to jack off to…..besideshidden toilet-cam footage of young interns.

  124. 124
    Etrain - Official Elliott Yamin Forum -> President '08? Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] republican men seem to be the ones caught in bathrooms or other such unique places? Top 5 Republican Gay Sex Scandals. I won't repeat what Dan said on the show, but for those of you who saw it…..you know exactly [...]

  125. 125
    Mayor Palin: Failed Censor - Page 5 Says:

    [...] seem to like pointing out some of the Dems who were sexually deviant? How about I return the favor. Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals Badmouth 1. Mark Foley U.S. Representative (September 28, 2006) The Crime: Sending sexually laced, [...]

  126. 126
    These City Lights Says:

    links from Technoratiand considering everyone else an affront to God because they think that gays are actual people how the fuck do they have any credibility in picking someone like Palin? All this time they are “holier than thou” and ironically their party has the mostegregious acts of infidelity, and homosexuality among its politicians!And even more infuriating-the aforementioned yayhoo Christians support her even more now!!! Wow, evangelicals, what a telling indication of the shallowness of your belief. If the GOP says its alright, then God and White Jesus must agree right? You

  127. 127
    farmers get attacked by a sausage - DiscoWeb Message Boards Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] gone awry. They are probably Democrats. Probably … Republicans and gay sex - impossible! http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-rep…-sex-scandals/ __________________ 2000 D2, 4.6 Conv, 2" RT, 04 CDL, assorted other goodies [...]

  128. 128
    Affair allegations rock TN state Senate race : State and Regional News : Knoxville News Sentinel Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] Hey. At least this time it wasn’t a gay sex scandal. http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-repu... [...]

  129. 129
    ClanT2K Forums - Why Most Men are Republican Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-re…y-sex-scandals/ __________________ __________________ Quote: [...]

  130. 130
    BenInLA Says:

    This one is twenty years old but it’s way bigger than all of those. Look into it.

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3395321338401208062

  131. 131
    McCain becoming desperate...The Smear Tatics being readied: Wright, Ayers, Resko.. Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] just announce his affair with Karl Rove and get it over with Clay Aiken style? because as these guys will tell you, republicans are against homosexuality. __________________ [...]

  132. 132
    TheSabre.com - The Soapbox - Politics Message Board Message Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] It is a lifestyle choice after all. [...]

  133. 133
    Steeez Says:

    links from Technoratiknown McCain for 23 years, and McCain’s hard to swallow.”  Now I don’t know about you all, but that puts a pretty nasty image in my mind. I don’t think I need to elaborate further, except to say TMI! I mean, Igetthat part of being a conservative republican politician is that you must be a closet gay. But that means keeping those sentiments to yourself… I have no problem with men discussing their intimate relationships with other men in public -  so long as

  134. 134
    Lynching Palin .. - NightClubCity.com: New York Nightlife Guide Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] Originally Posted by Gspot555 Your answer is bullshit, and just the fact that you had to sneak in that comment proves it WE call those people Republicans LOL mr toughies that talk a big game. but really they um .swallow.. http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-rep…-sex-scandals/ [...]

  135. 135
    Do The Republicans Admit That It Is Over For Them? - Page 2 - Political Forum Says:

    [...] and won before we can do it again Yes, you may be right. I have heard that Republicans love coming from behind __________________ Have you ever stood toe to toe with someone that was intent on kicking your [...]

  136. 136
    Australia Imposes Mandatory Internet Censorship - Defending the Truth Says:

    [...] their kids downloading gay material. Meaning …… McCain’s gay Q&A - Washington Blade Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals Badmouth Live the Light, Give the Light, Bring Heaven to Earth Every Day! I am not a human being having a [...]

  137. 137
    Post 1785246 - (California Proposition 8 (Gay marriage ban)) Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] GAY BASHING IS SELF-OUTING HYPOCRISY, ESPECIALLY IN POLITICS! Unfortunately, gay religious leaders advocate throwing stones before they get caught with their own pants down. [...]

  138. 138
    Palin hates gays..... - Page 2 - Liveleak Forums Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] you hate gays, why be a republican? http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-rep…-sex-scandals/ http://online.logcabin.org/ __________________ "Do you even know what slander is?" — [...]

  139. 139
    Dagens garv « PiratJanne Says:

    [...] undrar jag i mitt stilla sinne varför så många homofober tydligen har sexuella relationer med män?`Är det för att homofobin egentligen är ett sätt att [...]

  140. 140
    Ramp and FMX Motorcycle Jumping Forum: The Gayest Gays, are Republicans just like Roger Wells & Chris Mahoney (gay lovers) Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] Mahoney (gay lovers) Posted by Straight Democrat on October 25, 2008, 12:12 pm69.154.29.133 http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/ http://www.dkosopedia.com/wiki/Republican_Sex_Scandals [...]

  141. 141
    Is Sarah Palin preparing for 2012? - Topix Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] gay?Top Five Republican Gay Sex ScandalsAugust 31st, 2007 by John Marcotte Pink elephants on paradehttp://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-g… Its gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public [...]

  142. 142
    new york forums - craigslist Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] others and behind closed doors is kinky and sexually open? The term for that is “Republican.” http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/ I vote we coin the phrase, and my suggestion is [...]

  143. 143
    alaska forums - craigslist Says:

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] others and behind