Pink elephants on parade
Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?
A: Evidently, all of them.
It’s gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The “holier-than-thou” party has spent an awful lot of time on their knees this past year, but they haven’t been doing a lot of praying.
I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican I’ve met thinks the opposite.
But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it’s been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months.
Mark Foley
U.S. Representative
(September 28, 2006)
The Crime: Sending sexually laced, gramatically challenged instant messages and e-mails to teenaged boys in the Congressional page program for more than 10 years.
The Hypocrisy: Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. One of the foremost opponents of child pornography in the Senate.
The Quote: “get a ruler and measure it for me”
The Video:
Ted Haggard
Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals
(November 2006)
The Crime: Paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth.
The Hypocrisy: A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisors where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.
The Quote: “I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver.”
The Video:
Larry Craig
U.S. Senator
Senate Liason for Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign
(June 11, 2007)
The Crime: Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in an airport bathroom
The Hypocrisy: Craig twice voted against adding the words “sexual orientation” to the federal hate crimes law. Craig also voted to give states the right to refuse to recognize gay marriage–a right they already had, but the Senator wanted to really, really prove he didn’t like gay people.
The Quote: “I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things.”
The Video:
Bob Allen
Member of the Florida House of Representatives
Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign
(July 11, 2007)
The Crime: Offering an undercover cop $20 to allow Allen to blow him in a men’s room in a public park. After being arrested, Allen tried to explain that he only offered to blow the cop because the cop was a “burly black man” and he “didn’t want to become a statistic.”
The Hypocrisy: Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush’s friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state’s ban on gays adopting children, and he co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts” such as indecent exposure.
The Quote: “I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it.”
The Video:
Glenn Murphy Jr.
National Chairman of the Young Republicans
Chairman of the Clark County Republican Party
(July 28, 2007)
The Crime: Murphy got a fellow Young Republican drunk and then spent the night at his house. The other young man woke up in the middle of the night to find Murphy giving him mouth-to-penis resuscitation. After this incident, a 1998 sexual battery report came to light in which Murphy was alleged to have done the exact same thing.
The Hypocrisy: Murphy was a well-paid political consultant for Republican candidates and often advised them to use gay marriage as a wedge issue to paint their opponents as out of touch with traditional values.
The Quote: “I was in the Sound of Music in High School…don’t ask” (from his now-defunct Myspace page.)
The Video: Unfortunately, the Young Republicans took down all of their videos of Mr. Murphy. So instead, I give you:
Tags: gay, gop, republican, scandal, sex
HA! HA! HA! Not surprised gay conservative Repubs have a long history in Congress and the presidency. Glad that more of the hypocrites are coming (out) in the open. What a load of hateful, so-called religious assholes!
R Kelly could make a comeback clownin’ these fools with a song titled:
PULLED OUT OF THE CLOSET!
Sex is ALWAYS secondary for men in power when they practice such perverse sexual acts as these.
And I’m sure there are plenty currently in power who are pedophiles that we just haven’t heard about yet.
Because pedophilia and pederasty are still illegal, we won’t hear about these guys until the climate has softened toward men having sex with children.
But I would expect a floodgate to open when it does.
“Right now these fine upstanding citizens are hiding behind the children they are raping, but soon, very soon, they will step into the limelight and declare the same rights as homosexuals now enjoy. But because they are active in the homosexual war on American values, they will expect to be equal recipients of any hard-won victories that gays have gained”. quote from “Middat Sdom”
[...] file for sexual probity is also impressively resistant to contrary facts. There have been enough closeted Republican homophobes, outed Republican philanderers, and thrice-married matrimony traditionalists [...]
We the people, are tired of the Republicans bringing our tired, our poor, etc, etc, etc. behind closed doors so they can use and abuse them in such acts. They continually search for dirt on married Democrats who have affairs with other women to make them look bad. HELLO!!! “Separation of Church and State” people! That is between husband and wife! These acts are criminal – BY LAW – YOU CANNOT have sex with minors!!! Period!!! The Republican Party are a bunch of Hypocrites just trying to point fingers so no one will be paying attention to what they are doing!
[...] are grateful to John Marcotte at Badmouth for most of the material [...]
[...] file for sexual probity is also impressively resistant to contrary facts. There have been enough closeted Republican homophobes, outed Republican philanderers and thrice-married matrimony traditionalists [...]
[...] file for sexual probity is also impressively resistant to contrary facts. There have been enough closetedRepublican homophobes, outed Republican philanderers and thrice-married matrimony traditionalists [...]
[...] The Flickering Screen Seeing Terrible Movies…So You Don't Have To « Another word about search terms (and Gemma Arterton’s feet) Being gay is expensive: “I Love You Phillip Morris” June 1, 2010 I Love You, Phillip Morris, plays the long con on the audience, racing giddily toward a denouement we should see coming but don’t–despite the fact that it’s played us before, and in precise this same manner. ILYPM isn’t a heist movie or a thriller, where we expect this kind of narrative sleight-of-hand, but is instead a romantic comedy of sorts, and romantic comedies prize simplicity over all else. Still, even the conventions of that genre are powerless before con-man protagonist Stephen Russell, and this sets us up for the blindside. In this movie’s world, fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, and, well, at least I’m in good company. Russell (played by Jim Carrey in a performance that is, in itself, a piece of sleight-of-hand) begins the film as an almost aggressively bland Georgia husband and father. He plays piano in the church choir, tucks his little daughter into bed every night, and has listless sex with his Fembot wife (Leslie Mann at her chirpiest). A near-death experience, though, forces Russell to face the truth about himself: he’s basically a Fire Island queen pretending to be a Red State denizen (in hindsight, it’s amazing that Russell—with his sordid, anonymous hotel-room trysts–didn’t end up as a Republican politician). [...]
I am a Christian and I personally believe that homosexuality is a sin. But I would never presume to speak for God on this matter because I understand that God’s love is not dependent on your sexual choice.
(If you do not believe that sexual perversion is a choice, you need some updated information. See Middat Sdom dot com)
I constantly shock a lot of fine upstanding Christians when I tell them my story of how God sent a lesbian (who was also a Christian) to retrieve me from the sinful life I was living.
Once she had done what God told her, she disappeared from my life, but I always got the strange feeling that being a lesbian was almost like a gift to her from God because it was the lifestyle that she most preferred to live.
I never sensed any ‘demonic possession’ within her, just the spirit of love, the spirit of God.
But I am not deceived. I know that sexual perversions are indeed signs of demonic possession.
And the only way to ever get them out of your life is to give your life over to God.
[...] Top 5 Gay Republicans Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals :: Badmouth [...]