Pink elephants on parade
Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?
A: Evidently, all of them.
It’s gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The “holier-than-thou” party has spent an awful lot of time on their knees this past year, but they haven’t been doing a lot of praying.
I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican I’ve met thinks the opposite.
But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it’s been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months.
Mark Foley
U.S. Representative
(September 28, 2006)
The Crime: Sending sexually laced, gramatically challenged instant messages and e-mails to teenaged boys in the Congressional page program for more than 10 years.
The Hypocrisy: Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. One of the foremost opponents of child pornography in the Senate.
The Quote: “get a ruler and measure it for me”
The Video:
Ted Haggard
Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals
(November 2006)
The Crime: Paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth.
The Hypocrisy: A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisors where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.
The Quote: “I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver.”
The Video:
Larry Craig
U.S. Senator
Senate Liason for Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign
(June 11, 2007)
The Crime: Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in an airport bathroom
The Hypocrisy: Craig twice voted against adding the words “sexual orientation” to the federal hate crimes law. Craig also voted to give states the right to refuse to recognize gay marriage–a right they already had, but the Senator wanted to really, really prove he didn’t like gay people.
The Quote: “I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things.”
The Video:
Bob Allen
Member of the Florida House of Representatives
Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign
(July 11, 2007)
The Crime: Offering an undercover cop $20 to allow Allen to blow him in a men’s room in a public park. After being arrested, Allen tried to explain that he only offered to blow the cop because the cop was a “burly black man” and he “didn’t want to become a statistic.”
The Hypocrisy: Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush’s friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state’s ban on gays adopting children, and he co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts” such as indecent exposure.
The Quote: “I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it.”
The Video:
Glenn Murphy Jr.
National Chairman of the Young Republicans
Chairman of the Clark County Republican Party
(July 28, 2007)
The Crime: Murphy got a fellow Young Republican drunk and then spent the night at his house. The other young man woke up in the middle of the night to find Murphy giving him mouth-to-penis resuscitation. After this incident, a 1998 sexual battery report came to light in which Murphy was alleged to have done the exact same thing.
The Hypocrisy: Murphy was a well-paid political consultant for Republican candidates and often advised them to use gay marriage as a wedge issue to paint their opponents as out of touch with traditional values.
The Quote: “I was in the Sound of Music in High School…don’t ask” (from his now-defunct Myspace page.)
The Video: Unfortunately, the Young Republicans took down all of their videos of Mr. Murphy. So instead, I give you:
Tags: gay, gop, republican, scandal, sex
You forgot the biggest one of all. Jeff Gannon and W. Gannon logged into the white house more than he logged out. Spent the nightaroni!!!!! Just google the little f’ers.
I actually considered Gannon, but this was “the best of the past 12 months” in 2007, so Gannon missed the cutoff by six months or so.
BUSH IS GAY HIMSELF GOOGLE VICTOR ASHE
You forgot Jim West and Richard Curtis.
Jim West: While in the legislature he served as Senate Majority Leader. During these years, Jim West supported several anti-gay bills, including one that would
have banned gays and lesbians from working in schools and day care centers.
He also proposed a law that would ban all sexual activity among persons under the age of 18 (the bill failed). He would later admit that he regretted voting for those measures.
West was involved in a sex scandal in 2005. He was accused of sexually
abusing two young boys in the 1970s and 1980s when he was a sheriff’s deputy and Boy Scout leader. He was also accused of misusing his office as mayor to lure teenage boys for sexual relationships.
Richard Curtis: On October 30, 2007, the Spokane Spokesman-Review reported that Curtis and a
twenty-six year old man named Cody Castagna – who previously had posed for gay pornography – met at an adult bookstore, and that they later had sex in a local hotel room. Curtis was also alleged to have been seen previously and on that occasion clad in women’s clothing, wearing them underneath his own.
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the two “log cabin” republicans i know are serious pervs. one takes his boyfriend that is 1/2 his age to “play” with others and the other has frequent flyer miles from every public toilet in town.
i guess it sucks for them — they can’t just settle down like normal people. republicans are some crazy party animals. to bad they are fat and old and digusting. i mean seriously who would go within 100 yds of bob allen for only 20 bucks. glenn murphy for a “young” republican looks about 40. can’t imagine him playing anything in sound of music — maybe a nun?
[...] by its resistance to change in orientation (it denied alternative orientations as rabidly as a closeted conservative political figure, BAM!). It would be a while before I had a handle on gyro [...]
Republicans are repressed! It’s time to come out. Now!
What is really funny is that had any of these people been Democrats, this article would not exist. They would be defended to last dying breath by the liberal left.
It seems liberals do not defend gay rights, just the gay rights of people they like!
This is also true for womens rights. Do you think a liberal version of Sarah Palin would be attacked openly as she has been with a scream from the liberal left. It would never be allowed!
So pretend all you want that your for rights’ your for rights for people who agree with you!
No, its that Democrats are not hypocrites like these people. Lobbying and campaining against what they are! Yeah support your liars and Pedophilers!!
Heather,
You appear to be another conservative who does not understand what HYPOCRISY means. It means, you say one thing and do the opposite. Got it? The reason these people deserve the attention is they all condemn and/or persecute homosexuals while participating in homosexual acts themselves. That is HYPOCRISY (see definition above). I understand that the conservative brain struggles to understand this very complicated concept, but keep trying.
Heather,
You DO realize that as a Democrat, a legislator can be openly gay? It’s not closeted Dems who are shouting from the rooftops about shooting down gay marriage or preventing sexual orientation being a consideration in hate crimes. Politicians on both sides of the aisle have skeletons in their closets, to be sure, but hypocrisy is overwhelmingly a millstone around the neck of many GOP pols. As for Palin, the only scream you’ll get from me is a scream of laughter. The lady is a hoot! I so do hope she is on the GOP ticket in 2012, I really do.
IF they had been democrats……IF, IF, IF….
But they weren’t, Heather Dear, they were upstanding, Family Value, conservative RepubliTards sucking cock in men’s rooms.
Post all the IF’s you wish….it’s the republiTards that are the well known cocksuckers.
[...] to John Marcotte at Badmouth.com (August [...]