Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals

August 31st, 2007 by John Marcotte

Pink elephants on parade

Pink Elephants

Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?
A: Evidently, all of them.

It’s gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The “holier-than-thou” party has spent an awful lot of time on their knees this past year, but they haven’t been doing a lot of praying.

I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican I’ve met thinks the opposite.

But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it’s been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months.

Mark Foley

U.S. Representative
(September 28, 2006)

The Crime: Sending sexually laced, gramatically challenged instant messages and e-mails to teenaged boys in the Congressional page program for more than 10 years.

The Hypocrisy: Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. One of the foremost opponents of child pornography in the Senate.

The Quote: “get a ruler and measure it for me”

The Video:

Ted Haggard

Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals
(November 2006)

The Crime: Paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth.

The Hypocrisy: A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisors where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.

The Quote: “I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver.”

The Video:

Larry Craig

U.S. Senator
Senate Liason for Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign
(June 11, 2007)

The Crime: Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in an airport bathroom

The Hypocrisy: Craig twice voted against adding the words “sexual orientation” to the federal hate crimes law. Craig also voted to give states the right to refuse to recognize gay marriage–a right they already had, but the Senator wanted to really, really prove he didn’t like gay people.

The Quote: “I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things.”

The Video:

Bob Allen

Member of the Florida House of Representatives
Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign
(July 11, 2007)

The Crime: Offering an undercover cop $20 to allow Allen to blow him in a men’s room in a public park. After being arrested, Allen tried to explain that he only offered to blow the cop because the cop was a “burly black man” and he “didn’t want to become a statistic.”

The Hypocrisy: Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush’s friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state’s ban on gays adopting children, and he co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts” such as indecent exposure.

The Quote: “I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it.”

The Video:

Glenn Murphy Jr.

National Chairman of the Young Republicans
Chairman of the Clark County Republican Party
(July 28, 2007)

The Crime: Murphy got a fellow Young Republican drunk and then spent the night at his house. The other young man woke up in the middle of the night to find Murphy giving him mouth-to-penis resuscitation. After this incident, a 1998 sexual battery report came to light in which Murphy was alleged to have done the exact same thing.

The Hypocrisy: Murphy was a well-paid political consultant for Republican candidates and often advised them to use gay marriage as a wedge issue to paint their opponents as out of touch with traditional values.

The Quote: “I was in the Sound of Music in High School…don’t ask” (from his now-defunct Myspace page.)

The Video: Unfortunately, the Young Republicans took down all of their videos of Mr. Murphy. So instead, I give you:

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 12:17 am and is filed under The Five Spot. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

91 Responses to “Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals”

1
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August 31st, 2007 at 8:50 am
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August 31st, 2007 at 10:19 am
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blog.myspace.com/badmouthdotnet Says:
August 31st, 2007 at 12:13 pm
[...] I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican I’ve met thinks the opposite. But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it’s been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months. [...]
14
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August 31st, 2007 at 12:28 pm
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September 2nd, 2007 at 2:49 pm
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September 7th, 2007 at 2:50 am
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24
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September 7th, 2007 at 11:50 am
just keeps popping up, scandal after scandal, homophobic lawmaker after anti-gay preacher after gay marriage attacker after hooker-loving “family values” adulterer, Bob Allen to Ted Haggard to Jim West to Glenn Murphy Jr. to David “Diaperman” Vitter,so many examplesof a militant loudmouthed Christian Republican suddenly caught with his pants down around his boyfriend’s ankles that, after so many headlines, the notion that these cases might be rare or exceptional simply vanishes and you are left only with the
25
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September 7th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
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September 7th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
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28
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September 7th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
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29
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September 7th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
“A lot of people are calling Senator Craig a hypocrite because he was a very vocal opponent of same-sex marriages. … But to be fair, he has never come out publicly against anonymous gay bathroom sex.” –Jay LenoIn the same vein, badmouth.net has theTop 5 Republican Gay Sex Scandals. Oh the hilarity ensues on this one! Videos accompany each contender: Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Bob Allen, and Glenn Murphy Jr.
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September 9th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
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32
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September 11th, 2007 at 10:59 am
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September 11th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
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September 13th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
[...] Top five republican gay sex scandals of the last year Pink elephants on parade (The Daily Show video is crude, but funny)Bob Allen Member of the Florida House of Representatives Florida Chairman of John McCain's Presidential Campaign (July 11, 2007) The Crime: Offering an undercover cop $20 to allow Allen to 'expletive" him in a men's room in a public park. After being arrested, Allen tried to explain that he only offered, because the cop was a "burly black man" and he "didn't want to become a statistic." The Hypocrisy: Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush's friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state's ban on gays adopting children, and he co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for "offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts" such as indecent exposure. The Quote: "I certainly wasn't there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn't there to exchange money for it."This post has been edited by cyberscribbler: Sep 7 2007, 04:05 PM [...]
36
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Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals
49
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October 8th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
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52
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October 9th, 2007 at 7:16 am
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53
The Top 5 Republican Gay Sex Scandals Says:
October 9th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
[...] This is too funny…Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?A: Evidently, all of them.It�s gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The �holier-than-thou� party has spent an awful lot of time on their knees this past year, but they haven�t been doing a lot of praying.I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican I�ve met thinks the opposite.But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it�s been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months.http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-sca… [...]
54
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55
carpe lucis Says:
October 31st, 2007 at 10:47 pm
being gay is a choice, and marriage can only be between a man and a woman, and god doesn’t support gay-ness. etc. ad nauseum. BECAUSE CLEARLY REPUBLICANS WHO TRY TO PRETEND THEY’RE NOT GAY CAN ONLY LAST FOR SO LONG. here’s the new face of hypocrisy,one of many in a sad, upsetting line
56
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November 3rd, 2007 at 12:24 am
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57
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November 8th, 2007 at 8:49 am
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58
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November 10th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
recap of the Top Five
59
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November 15th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
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60
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61
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November 30th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
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62
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63
Danger West Says:
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:13 am
of Pan-German organizations in its orbit were rife with homosexuals. I cannot think of any contemporary conservative US political parties that have suffered gay sex scandals in recent years. Not one. Nope. I’ve never heard of such a thing.It can’t happen. More: It occurs to me now that ten years ago, this book would have still been dumb (arguing from what I’ve heard so far of course, I haven’t read the whole thing), but not from outer space. However, the political developments of the past
64
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December 23rd, 2007 at 12:24 am
[...] [...]
65
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December 26th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
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66
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December 26th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
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67
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December 27th, 2007 at 5:00 am
. It’s not like they put signs up or anything like that, and as you can see, the locals were far from helpful. Anyway at least the gesture was an appropriate way to sign off from the year of Homophobic Republican LawmakersGone Wild. And hello Hailey (sp?), first person to ever randomly recognize me in an airport! I wanted to talk to you more but you were on your phone!
68
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December 27th, 2007 at 7:28 am
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69
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December 27th, 2007 at 10:27 am
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70
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December 28th, 2007 at 4:18 am
there to have elected republicans to convert to the opposing political party, to profit off the state government, and to commit sexual harassment. What he sees as not normal is Richard Curtis’ gay sex scandal, which I find odd since everyone has beenexposed to countless versionsof Richard Curtis over the past year.A gay bashing republican is actually a closeted gay himself? How am I not surprised.
71
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December 30th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
[...] ass, then returning the favour, then finally having sex with a woman (because you know how those Conservatives can be. . .). Once I’ve seen him do this, on video tape, I will forever consider homosexuality a [...]
72
Three Q Blog Says:
January 4th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
hands down the best on the GOP side, and I want them to continue in the general. Who else can slap down McCain like our boy Straw Poll Paul. So there you have it, Urge Ron Paul to run as a Libertarian! It is his best chance to win. Second, the GayOldParty. Almost everyone I talk to fears Mike as a “Krazy Kristian” but I firmly believe that he is less scary than all of the other GOP front runners. I trust Huckabee more than I trust Romney, McCain or Giuliani. McCain continues to haunt me with his
73
The Secret Sun Says:
January 5th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
not to run for re-election this year. It could be that the fix is in for a blowout in 2008. Or it could be pre-emptive strikes against humiliating sexgates, since it’s no fun to smear retirees. But then again, given the rumors and Trent Lott andhis comrades,would these guys even be interested in what the DC Madam had on the menu? It’s funny, I was considering calling this feature Whorehouse 2008, but I didn’t want to cast aspersions on people who do honest work for a living. Everyone hates clowns,
74
Presidential politics, express your views, and please be polite about it | beaufortgazette.com Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 7:30 am
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75
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January 11th, 2008 at 7:59 am
[...] that the average public bathroom has more gay Republicans than clean hand towels these days, perhaps it’s time for them to put this candidate in the [...]
76
The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century : Joey deVilla’s Personal Blog Says:
January 11th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Given thatthe average public bathroom has more gay Republicans than clean hand towels these days, perhaps it’s time for them to put this candidate in the ring: Image courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.
77
Re: The Big Ten - N.Y. Times Columnists and Editorials - AOL Message Boards Says:
January 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
[...] told a lie, not very Christian of you. Here is a link about your gay Republican politicians.http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/From: Quickdrw1I wonder how God feels about the liberal lifestyle of hedonistic [...]
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Jersey City List - Jersey City, NJ - Why are liberals/Democrats so soft on violent criminals [Message Forum - Crime & Safety] Says:
February 7th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
[...] many supposedly macho Conservatives/Republicans been implicated/charged/convicted of gay sex crimes?www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals Posted on: Today [...]
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We Love America More Than Anyone. » fucking themselves. Says:
February 29th, 2008 at 9:28 am
[...] exhibit a; exhibit b. Filed under: Whatevs — JasonC @ 11:28 [...]
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Blogging On Meds - the Medicine Agency Blog Says:
March 9th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
consider yourself god, and if he/she does exist then I’m pretty fuckin sure he/she has it under control and doesn’t need people like SALLY KERN (with questionably dike haircuts) telling us who to love. Speaking of questionably gay republicans…MARK FOLEY TED HAGGARD LARRY CRAIG BOB ALLEN GLEN MURPHY, JR. Sally Kern, (R) needs a reminder of what her job entails. A separation of church and state for starts, and most importantly, to treat ALL PEOPLE EQUALLY.
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Jeebus hates me, this I know. For some batshit-crazy dead-eyed hag from Okalahoma tells me so. « Another Kansas City Blog Says:
March 10th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
[...] See also: Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Larry Cr…oh, just click here. [...]
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Democrat Governor of New York is a pricey pimp... - Tampa Forums Says:
March 11th, 2008 at 9:50 am
[...] from the regular news outlets, saying it is a tragedy. Oh the humanity. Here you go Scott: http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-rep…-sex-scandals/ That’s a list of the top five Republican-Gay-Dex-Scandals for you to ponder over I know [...]
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Circle Jerk at the Square Dance Says:
March 11th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Uranus7) church bells/cash registers 6) worm 5) circus (x3) 4) nipple 3) drug/World Series 2) Lord of 1) prostitution/cock
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wartodas.com » Blog Archive » Spitzer’s dilemma Says:
March 11th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
[...] I think we are in a hypocritical world where politicians are allowed to rob the public, give jobs to cronies and lie to start wars but if he has SEX all of a sudden he’s the anti-Christ. Get over it people. And like all the politicians that are calling for his resignation have no skeletons in their closets. Come on, who are they trying to kid? Almost all of ‘em have their hand in the cookie jar or sleeping with god knows what. [...]
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DB and McQ Says:
March 12th, 2008 at 12:54 am
h/t to Southern Beale for the heads up on this one (I read the blogs before the news I guess) Another douchebag. NewYork Gov Spitzer is linked to prostitution ring. Awesome. Apparently, it isn’t justRepublicanswho are having trouble living up to the high “Family Values” that they preach. Hopefully he will have the intelligence to resign rather than pull a Larry Craig. But let’s be thankful it wasn’t: 1. Gay Bathroom Sex
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OK State Rep Sally Kern says "[homosexuality] bigger threat than terrorism" - The Something Awful Forums Says:
March 12th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
[...] Turns out her son might be gay. http://www.queerty.com/sally-kern-s…y-son-20080312/ Just add it to the list. http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-re…y-sex-scandals/ [...]
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Jmha2013’s Weblog Says:
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals » Badmouth
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VN Boards - A typical Democrat at work in washington today Says:
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 am
[...] Since the printed word don’t grab ya, maybe you need movin’ pictures. http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republican-gay-sex-scandals/ [...]
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On Drinking Bleach « Just Above Sunset Says:
April 5th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
[...] The list goes on and on, with all the reference material, but you get the idea – those with these cultural grievances are a disturbed lot. All this business about sex has unhinged them. Something very unhealthy is happening. That has been said many a time before, and the complete list, in the end, is rather boring, actually. For something shorter and punchier, with video clips, try this – the Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals. [...]
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TruckNet® Drivers RoundTable • View topic - The epidemic continues to spread Says:
April 7th, 2008 at 5:46 am
[...] with.If he would have been of the other party(R) it would have been some dude he gave a $150.00 to Repub luv Maybe I’ll get mine done now that I’m retired! http://www.deadendcruisers.com/videos/j … [...]
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Right Wing Women better Looking - Page 7 - Political Forum Says:
April 13th, 2008 at 7:11 am
[...] (proven by the Janet Jackson reaction), so why would they care how hot their women are? Meanwhile, half of these homophobes are taking it up the behind while trying to pass gay marriage bans. __________________ "Leaders cannot conduct foreign [...]