Pink elephants on parade

Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet?
A: Evidently, all of them.
It’s gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The “holier-than-thou” party has spent an awful lot of time on their knees this past year, but they haven’t been doing a lot of praying.
I have no theories why this is the case, other than I think that being gay is the way God made some people and being conservative is a choice, and almost every Republican I’ve met thinks the opposite.
But why question it? The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it’s been a very, very good year. So I give you the top five republican gay sex scandals of the past 12 months.
Mark Foley
U.S. Representative
(September 28, 2006)
The Crime: Sending sexually laced, gramatically challenged instant messages and e-mails to teenaged boys in the Congressional page program for more than 10 years.
The Hypocrisy: Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. One of the foremost opponents of child pornography in the Senate.
The Quote: “get a ruler and measure it for me”
The Video:
Ted Haggard
Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals
(November 2006)
The Crime: Paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth.
The Hypocrisy: A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisors where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.
The Quote: “I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver.”
The Video:
Larry Craig
U.S. Senator
Senate Liason for Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign
(June 11, 2007)
The Crime: Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in an airport bathroom
The Hypocrisy: Craig twice voted against adding the words “sexual orientation” to the federal hate crimes law. Craig also voted to give states the right to refuse to recognize gay marriage–a right they already had, but the Senator wanted to really, really prove he didn’t like gay people.
The Quote: “I am not gay, I don’t do these kinds of things.”
The Video:
Bob Allen
Member of the Florida House of Representatives
Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign
(July 11, 2007)
The Crime: Offering an undercover cop $20 to allow Allen to blow him in a men’s room in a public park. After being arrested, Allen tried to explain that he only offered to blow the cop because the cop was a “burly black man” and he “didn’t want to become a statistic.”
The Hypocrisy: Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush’s friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state’s ban on gays adopting children, and he co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts” such as indecent exposure.
The Quote: “I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it.”
The Video:
Glenn Murphy Jr.
National Chairman of the Young Republicans
Chairman of the Clark County Republican Party
(July 28, 2007)
The Crime: Murphy got a fellow Young Republican drunk and then spent the night at his house. The other young man woke up in the middle of the night to find Murphy giving him mouth-to-penis resuscitation. After this incident, a 1998 sexual battery report came to light in which Murphy was alleged to have done the exact same thing.
The Hypocrisy: Murphy was a well-paid political consultant for Republican candidates and often advised them to use gay marriage as a wedge issue to paint their opponents as out of touch with traditional values.
The Quote: “I was in the Sound of Music in High School…don’t ask” (from his now-defunct Myspace page.)
The Video: Unfortunately, the Young Republicans took down all of their videos of Mr. Murphy. So instead, I give you:






































August 31st, 2007 at 1:37 am
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September 1st, 2007 at 11:58 am
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September 5th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
[...] Originally stated by Drnaline Then why are you posting articles of gay repugs and not gay democraps? Or are you gonna claim your not partisan? Ok, let me see if I can come down to your level, and help you to understand…. I am posting articles about gay or alleged gay Republicans, to further illustrate the hypocrisy displayed by Republicans, in general, that they hold the moral ‘high ground" [...]
September 5th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
September 7th, 2007 at 2:50 am
September 7th, 2007 at 11:50 am
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September 13th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
September 14th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
September 15th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
[...] http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-republi…; [...]
September 15th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
September 21st, 2007 at 5:10 am
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September 25th, 2007 at 8:43 am
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October 8th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
[...] Jesus didn’t visit male prostitutes or solicit handjobs while waiting for a ride or grope his youthful [...]
October 8th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
October 9th, 2007 at 7:16 am
damn freaky deaky republicans
October 9th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
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November 15th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
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November 30th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
[...] these staunch, right-wing conservatives are being called out left and right for their closeted, down-low behavior. (I’m beginning to think that GOP stands for gay only in private). Maybe it’s [...]
December 2nd, 2007 at 9:00 pm
[...] these staunch, right-wing conservatives are being called out left and right for their down-low behavior. (I’m beginning to think that GOP stands for gay only [...]
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:13 am
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December 30th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
[...] ass, then returning the favour, then finally having sex with a woman (because you know how those Conservatives can be. . .). Once I’ve seen him do this, on video tape, I will forever consider homosexuality a [...]
January 4th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
January 5th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
January 7th, 2008 at 7:30 am
January 11th, 2008 at 7:59 am
[...] that the average public bathroom has more gay Republicans than clean hand towels these days, perhaps it’s time for them to put this candidate in the [...]
January 11th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
January 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
February 7th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
February 29th, 2008 at 9:28 am
[...] exhibit a; exhibit b. Filed under: Whatevs — JasonC @ 11:28 [...]
March 9th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
March 10th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
[...] See also: Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Larry Cr…oh, just click here. [...]
March 11th, 2008 at 9:50 am
[...] from the regular news outlets, saying it is a tragedy. Oh the humanity. Here you go Scott: http://www.badmouth.net/top-five-rep…-sex-scandals/ That’s a list of the top five Republican-Gay-Dex-Scandals for you to ponder over I know [...]
March 11th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
March 11th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
[...] I think we are in a hypocritical world where politicians are allowed to rob the public, give jobs to cronies and lie to start wars but if he has SEX all of a sudden he’s the anti-Christ. Get over it people. And like all the politicians that are calling for his resignation have no skeletons in their closets. Come on, who are they trying to kid? Almost all of ‘em have their hand in the cookie jar or sleeping with god knows what. [...]
March 12th, 2008 at 12:54 am
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April 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 am
April 5th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
[...] The list goes on and on, with all the reference material, but you get the idea – those with these cultural grievances are a disturbed lot. All this business about sex has unhinged them. Something very unhealthy is happening. That has been said many a time before, and the complete list, in the end, is rather boring, actually. For something shorter and punchier, with video clips, try this – the Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals. [...]
April 7th, 2008 at 5:46 am
April 13th, 2008 at 7:11 am