I’ve always felt that action movies can be measured by the villain. Die Hard rode the performance of Alan Rickman as cynical terrorist Hans Grueber. Batman was fueled by the maniacal Joker, and the crushing tension in Silence of the Lambs was fed by the evil presence of Hannibal Lector.
That’s great for action movies. But what about comedies?
I think a similar principle is at work for comedies. Instead of villains though, a great comedy requires a great asshole—not a true villain—but a person who is so instantly dislikable, that we don’t mind when they are tormented the rest of the movie.
So, without further ado, Badmouth introduces: The Top Five Movie Assholes.
5. William Atherton
Reasons to hate him: Ghostbusters, Real Genius, Die Hard
“Everything was fine, until dickless here cut off the power grid!”
“Is that true?”
“Yes, Your Honor, this man has no dick.”
Whether he is playing a dickless EPA inspector in Ghostbusters, a dickhead arms-dealer/college professor in Real Genius or a dickwad news reporter in Die Hard, William Atherton is the dick we can’t do without. There are few joys in the world equal to watching him get torn down by Bill Murray in Ghostbusters or punched in the face by Bonnie Bedelia at the end of Die Hard.
4. Paul Gleason
Reasons to hate him: The Breakfast Club, Die Hard
“Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.”
In a rare show of solidarity, students and teachers have agreed on one topic: They both hate school administrators.
Paul Gleason is probably why it’s still considered OK to loath the hardworking administrators of America. His portrayal of Principal Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club. Set new a new standard for how unlikable a high-school administrator could be. He followed that tour de force performance with a supporting asshole role in the Bruce Willis action picture Die Hard.
3.Gary Cole
Reasons to hate him: Office Space
“Hello Peter. What’s happening? Um, I’m gonna need you go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around nine, that would be great. Oh, oh, I forgot. I’m gonna also need you to come in Sunday too. We, uh, lost some people this week and we need to sorta catch up. Thanks.”
In today’s lightened age we’ve moved past the old stereotype of the boss as dictator: brow-beating, autocratic and loud. But that does not mean that the boss is no longer the enemy. Gary Cole’s smarmy, arrogant Satan-spawned upper-manager Bill Lumbergh redefined the hated boss for the new generation. Oily, non-confrontational and completely oblivious, Cole created the template that all future hated bosses will be based on.
2.Paul Giamatti
Reasons to hate him: Private Parts
“Yes, you know about this? I was in the program director’s office…his name is Pig-Vomit. Yes, ’cause he looks like a pig and makes you want to vomit. Pig-Vomit! Anyways, Pig-Vomit says to me, this is not WNBC. It’s WNNNNBC! WNNNNNBC! And I was not saying the call letters right. It’s a big problem.”
Paul Giamatti is currently wowing critics with his performance as world-class crank Harvey Pekar in American Splendor, but he put himself on the map with his performance as world-class asshole Kenny “Pig Vomit” Rushton in Howard Stern’s Private Parts. In turns, slimy, condescending, arrogant, sycophantic and mean; Giamatti produced a character so dislikable, Stern actually looked good in comparison. That’s impressive.
1.Ted Knight
Reasons to hate him: Caddyshack
“I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.”
Primarily known for hiw work on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Ted Knight staked out a place in cinematic history when he created the most memorable movie asshole of all time: Judge Smails in Caddyshack. Knight’s perfomance was so over the top, that he regularly stole scenes from costars Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield and Bill Murray. Knight’s unending supplies of arrogance, condensation and impotent rage propelled the vague fragments of a plot along, and provided all the major characters with a worthy nemisis.
So hats off to the late, great Ted Knight - the asshole to end all assholes.
Honorable Mention
Bill Murray — Kingpin
Bill Paxton — Weird Science
Mark Metcalf — Animal House
Jeffrey Jones - Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Think I missed a fantastic asshole? Leave a comment below.
September 23rd, 2003 at 8:45 am
Gary Cole at THREE? More like two or even one. Nice job though
September 23rd, 2003 at 8:49 am
Office Space is a classic. Especially when you work in a place like that. They call me the guy with the red stapler at work. The sad thing is my stapler is kinda red.
September 23rd, 2003 at 8:56 am
Have Paul Giamatti and Gary Cole switch places. Seems about right.
September 23rd, 2003 at 9:18 am
Rob Lowe HAS to be in the top five.
Wayne’s World, Tommy Boy…
September 23rd, 2003 at 9:23 am
I don’t think Lowe beats these guys. If you move Lowe onto the list, who do you take off?
September 23rd, 2003 at 1:59 pm
What about Shooter McGavin in happy gilmore?
He was also Travis Cole in Dirty Work
September 23rd, 2003 at 6:18 pm
I gotta give my #1 to Bill Atherton in Ghostbusters followed closely by Jeff Jones in Ferris Bueller who was also closely followed by Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore.
September 23rd, 2003 at 8:50 pm
Friends,
Let’s not forget that Paul Gleason also played the memorable villain Clarence Beeks in the smash hit of 1983, “Trading Places” with Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy.
According to IMDB, Gleason should also be considered a great movie villain for appearing in both “Ewoks: The Battle for Endor” and “Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love,” both (of course) made for TV.
Andy
P.S. Could you _describe_ the ruckus?
September 23rd, 2003 at 9:15 pm
Good call on Trading Places.
I disqualify the others because any made-for-TV movie featuring Ewoks sucked and every movie ending in “IV” sucked, except “Henry IV”
September 23rd, 2003 at 10:09 pm
I actually think the most unlikable one up there is William Atherton. He was definitely a good slimeball in Ghostbusters. He was in Die Hard 2, though.
September 23rd, 2003 at 10:17 pm
Atherton was in both Die Hard and Die Hard 2.
I picked the one that stood out in my memory: the original.
September 24th, 2003 at 5:02 am
Dabney Coleman in “9 to 5″ was a great asshole… and should be up there.
Dolly, Jane and Lily gave him exactly what he deserved.
Will you let me win the Marey Carey T-shirt now?
September 24th, 2003 at 4:33 pm
I believe John Vernon depicted a truly amazing asshole as Dean Vernon Wormer in National Lampoon’s Animal House and should be considered for the top five.
I think I deserve the Mary Carey T-shirt before that A T Nancy chick.
September 25th, 2003 at 4:05 am
Will there be a “Win A T-shirt Autographed By Dabney Coleman” give away???? Or is it just a little to late to put that together?
September 25th, 2003 at 4:06 am
Will there be a “Win A T-shirt Autographed By Dabney Coleman” give away???? Or is it just a little to late to put that together?
September 25th, 2003 at 8:45 am
I like Bradley Whitford in Billy Madison.
September 26th, 2003 at 4:35 am
Don’t forget about the asshole in Karate Kid (There were two assholes in that movie, though.) I’m talking about the blond kid who was an asshole in every movie I saw him in (the only other one I can think of right now is Just one of the Boys.
October 4th, 2003 at 12:11 am
I’m glad Jeffrey Jones got an honorable mention for his work in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” because he’s one of my favorite love-to-hate him characters of all time.
October 12th, 2003 at 3:24 pm
The Karate Kid villian is the great William Zabka. He played an asshole in every movie he was in - including the Rodney Dangerfield classic Back to School.
November 7th, 2003 at 4:15 pm
Animal house may have all five of the top comedy movie assholes of all time
Mark Metcalf - Doug Neidermeyer
“And, most recently…that a Roman toga party was held,
from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of
peversion, SO profound and disgusting, the decorum prohibits
listing them here. These are the charges recorded this day,
November 15th, 1962.”
James Daughton - Greg Marmalard
“Than would be delta house sir”
John Vernon - Dean Vernon Wormer
The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
As of now they’re on Double SECRET Probation!
Cesare Danova - Mayor Carmine DePasto
(Said to Dean Wormer) If you mention extortion again, I’ll have your legs broken.
Kevin Bacon - Chip Diller
…”Thank you sir, may I have another?
And honorable mention:
Stephen Bishop - Charming Guy with Guitar
I gave my love a cherry, that had no stone. I gave my love a chicken, that had no
bone. I gave my love a ring,
November 19th, 2003 at 3:57 am
Mr. Rooney from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!!!
December 10th, 2003 at 1:31 am
What about Bryan Brown (Cocktail)? I hated him.
January 27th, 2004 at 8:32 pm
Don’t forget Gary Cole in “One-Hour Photo” - where he played Robin Williams’ boss. Another great boss-asshole role.
March 7th, 2004 at 1:25 am
Great pick for #1. A few other “honorable mentions:”
-Hedly Lamar, “Blazing Saddles”
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus, The Pink Panther movies
-Mr. Hand, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”
-The guy who played the sergeant in “Good Morning Vietnam”
March 25th, 2004 at 4:54 pm
Excelent choices as top 5. Just perfect, all of them. I always love the guy you love to hate. One more for honorable mention, Jeremy Piven for his outstanding work as Dean Pritchard in Old School. He was a total asshole.
April 24th, 2004 at 3:05 am
More honorable mention: Bradley Whitford: the pompous ass brother in Billy Madison, the two-timing asshole boyfriend in Adventures in Babysitting, the head Alpha Beta in Revenge of the Nerds 2.
The sargeant (major) in GMV was the late great JT Walsh. His polka-playing co-asshole sidekick was Bruno Kirby.
April 30th, 2004 at 3:50 am
Top 5 Top 5 Lists
If you thought I was the only one…. 5. Top 5 Nestle and Ralston-Purina Combinations This is an anomaly in an otherwise unfunny site. Two stock brokers trying to be funny: it won’t take any insider tips for you to…
May 1st, 2004 at 6:08 pm
John C. McGinley
What an asshole (onscreen)!
Point Break, Office Space, The Animal. Need I say more?
May 17th, 2004 at 11:39 pm
The titty bar owner in Kill Bill, Vol 2.
May 20th, 2004 at 4:42 am
What about JACK NICHOLSON in a few good men?
Top Arsehole of all time i reckon!
May 28th, 2004 at 12:52 am
Denzel Washington in “Training Day”
He is such an asshole all the way throughout the movie, but the end of the movie illistrates my point the best. I can’t put a lot of it up because of the severe language but here are some quotes:
“You disloyal, fool-ass, bitch-made punk.”
I’m the police! I run shit here; you just live here!”
King Kong ain’t got shit on me!”
May 28th, 2004 at 9:35 pm
Is it possible to find out if William Atherton is related to actor, Ted Atherton of SUE THOMAS F.B.I.? The two men look so much alike that I wondered if they were related. Are they brothers, father and son????
June 8th, 2004 at 7:43 pm
How could you possibly forget Jack Nicholson’s performance in Anger Mangement?
July 10th, 2004 at 3:10 am
Joss Ackland, he played the villian in Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, the South African Ambassodor in a Lethal Weapon 2 , the Soviet Ambassador in Crimson Tide. The guy just SCREAMS villian everywhere he is.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000722/
Another big time villian actor is Gary Oldman. You will rarely know who he is on screen. But he played Dracula, Zorg in the “Fifth Element”, the highjacker in “Air Force One”, he played Mason Verger (the wealthy infirmed child molester) in Hannibal, he also played Lee Harvey Oswald in JFK, etc…
While He has branched out into good guys with his recent Harry Potter effort, he’s the best villian in Hollywood.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000198/
Another emerging Asshole is Sam Rockwell. He’s also adept at playing really ANNOYING, IRRATATING assholes. He played the thieving partner in Matchstick Men, the double-crossing aggressive nephew in “Heist”, the prime villian in “Charlies’ Angels” and most notably Wild Bill in “The Green Mile”.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005377/
How about Ronny Cox from Total Recall and RoboCop and a few other titles.
I’d echo Jack Nicholson from “The Shining”, “A Few Good Men, “The Witches of Eastwick” and “Batman”.
How about Alan Rickman from “Harry Potter xxx”, “Galaxy Quest”, “Die Hard”, “Robin Hood”, and “Quigley Down Under”,
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005377/
August 3rd, 2004 at 2:51 am
Ice blooded advertising exec Edgar Price (played by actor Frank Langella) from the movie Sweet November. His role was brief, but brutal. I remember his withering put-down of a waitress reducing her to tears.
“You know something sweetheart, we are what we do in this world. Your job is simply to bring the food to and from the table. So when you screw up something as simple as that…that doesn’t say a hell of alot about you.”
August 10th, 2004 at 9:49 am
I think you missed one of the up and coming real assholes of film. Vince Vaughn. Take “Swingers”, alright not too much of an asshole there, but he was a prick. Then there was the sort of sequal “Made”. He was a true assbag in this movie, wouldn’t shut up, always pissin people off, I was just waiting the whole movie for someone to open fire on his ass. There was “Clay Pigeons” where he plays a serial killer that acts like a nice guy. Yeah, he was a real dick in that one, breaking up couples and killin people. He always seems to play the pushy asshole friend in his other comedies too. He does have that certain endearing streak to him so I can see why you might not have considered him right off the bat.
September 2nd, 2004 at 5:57 pm
Jason Patric in Your Friends and Neighbors
September 29th, 2004 at 11:51 pm
i have no clue about this site .. lol i waz a google and bad mouth site pooped up lol its a aweseome website.. HA! ( i think) well ttyl buh bi peazz outt
December 17th, 2004 at 5:58 pm
Billy Bob Thortons Character in Bad Santa. Big asshole.
Dwight Yokum’s Character in Sling Blade. Doyle. Huge Asshole.
March 6th, 2005 at 8:58 pm
u 4got Jim Kerry,
wot an asshole he is.
has ne1 seen at least 1 filmwhere he isnt being a complete prat?
March 24th, 2005 at 3:13 pm
H…mm
For sheer over the topness in assholedom - how about nutty terrorist Eric Qualen in Cliffhanger played by the wonderful John Lithgow.
Actually there is an ultimate ultimate asshole - Steven Segal’s secret service cook in Under Siege. Ok he’s supposed to be the hero but … you just know he’s going to massacre the terrorists from the first ten seconds of the film. Not only was Under Siege probably Steven Segal’s worst film in a long long career it was when he really started making some truly bad movies.
July 7th, 2005 at 5:09 pm
In my humble opinion, the numero uno ASSHOLE of all times is …(drum roll)…..Jason Alexander!
His Asshole credits include:
1.) ALL of the Sienfeld Episodes
2.) Pretty Woman (Richard Gere Punched his lights out - YEA!)
3.) Shallow Hal (PS: the tail is real!)
4.) ALL of his lame ass sit coms
5.) Everything he is in!
August 9th, 2005 at 7:10 am
You’re missing a lesser known, but widely accomplished portrayer of assholes
William Zabka.
Need a hint? You’ll kick yourself when you hear it. “Johnny” from “Karate Kid”. The blue-eyed, blond frat boy with the chiseled chin made a career in the 80s out of playing the douche.
Besides a recurring role in a few more “Karate Kids”, he played the hated “Greg Tolan” in “Just one of the Guys” and “Chas” in “Back to school”. Not to mention being the idolized dick-head boyfriend in “European Vacation”.
In fact, it’s hard to find an instance when he DIDN’T play the asshole. Check out his latest cameo as a fast-talking, dirt bag salesman in the 2004 film “Roomies”. That’s a 25 year career people!
January 3rd, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Kevin Spacey in “Swimming With Sharks”. Pure evil asshole.
March 27th, 2006 at 8:56 am
What about Tom Cruise? He’s a pompous prick in every movie he’s ever been in. I hate that guy.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:59 am
EVERY Charactor in Memento
> The Inn keeper double charging him and smiling in his face over it
> Carrie Anne Moss, so called “friend” uses him big time
> Joe Pantoliano “Teddy” makes Moss look like a saint
> Sammy Jenkins, way to kill your wife dumbass
Great Movie but man what a bunch of Asses
Also:
James Spader in Pretty in Pink
The guy who killed Braveheart’s wife (that DICK)
And the WINNER IS……
The Last of the Mohicans
Magua
What a total Evil Bastard
August 29th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
Stiffler from American pie. He is a different kind of asshole but he is one of my favorites
August 29th, 2006 at 10:19 pm
one of the biggest asses was also one of the nicest
was jim carrey as hank, charlies split personality on Me Myself and Irene
September 8th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
What about Chet (Bill Paxton) in Weird Science. (”Yer stewed, buttwad!”)? Maybe not top 5 material, but certainly worth an honorable mention.
September 8th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
Woody,
That’s why we listed “Bill Paxton - Weird Science” as one of our honorable mentions at the bottom of the story. Good to see that great minds think alike, though.
November 26th, 2006 at 9:12 pm
There’s no way William and Ted Atherton are not father and son. I just saw the son on “Candles on Bay Street,” a Hallmark special on TV, and assumed he was William’s son before I even saw the closing credits.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
I would have to say
Chet-Weird Science
Biff Tannon - Back to the future.
Can’t belive no one mentioned that asshole.
Frank Debin- Naked Gun. Can’t count how many times I called that guy an asshole.
Or Dumb and Dumber. Both assholes
January 10th, 2007 at 4:14 am
January 10th, 2007 at 6:47 am
January 18th, 2007 at 10:43 am
QUOTE:
There’s no way William and Ted Atherton are not father and son. I just saw the son on “Candles on Bay Street,” a Hallmark special on TV, and assumed he was William’s son before I even saw the closing credits.
:ENDQUOTE
I beg to differ. For one thing, William Atherton’s full name is William Atherton KNIGHT (source: IMDB.com). Secondly, Ted Atherton was born in Winnepeg, Canada in 1963. William was born in Connecticut in 1947. So unless Bill was a daddy at age 16, it’s not possible.
Now, I’m not saying that there’s NO family connection. I received a letter from Ted in reply to a fan letter I’d penned, wherein he said he had family in the Boston area. So it’s definitely possible. But not father/son.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
February 21st, 2007 at 10:39 pm
April 17th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
October 4th, 2007 at 9:30 am
If I could cross over to television for one momment, I’d like to comment on the character of Maj. Frank Burns from M*A*S*H played by Larry Linville. I have never seen such an asshole in my whole life, wondering if he wasn’t really like that in real life, especially when meeting up with his friend, Col. Flagg, asking him if there is anybody that he can ‘tell on!’
November 22nd, 2007 at 9:01 pm
How about Burke from Aliens? “It was a bad call Ripley. It was a bad call.”
December 27th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
William Atherton is the No. 1 Ă…sshole, even before setting foot on any set. He’s one of those self-hating, Ex-gay freaks that sneak around behind the scenes . Twice, in 1982, he hit on me in the locker room of the gym called, “Body Double” that once sat in the basement of a building on 6th Ave. and 25th St. in Manhattan. He used to trawl the locker room in only a towel. The gay part isn’t an issue, it’s the hypocrisy of his shame that makes him my least favorite asshole of all time. No joke, people.
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:35 am
June 27th, 2008 at 11:36 pm