Badmouth.net

the star wars kid

May 24th, 2003 by John Marcotte

sw_kid.jpg

As a child, I wanted to be a Jedi. Badly. I also wanted to be a ninja (possibly of the mutant turtle variety), an archeologist with a whip and hard-nosed, hard-drinking private investigator.

In my darkest hour, I might admit that at a young age, I did exactly what the subject of the videos I am about to present is doing. Some of you might be forced to admit the same thing. But there is one important difference between you, me and this dork.

He did it on video.

Like kinky sex tapes you made with your ex-girlfriend, anything this embarrassing is bound to make it on the Internet eventually. And so, I present: The Star Wars Kid.

Viewing Guide. Watch the first one for as long as you can bear it. Then see the really well done “remix version.”

Please, fellow Farkers, have pity on my piss-poor server and consider getting these videos here. I pay a whopping $45 per year for my hosting. Guess how much bandwidth that buys me?

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 24th, 2003 at 1:02 pm and is filed under Articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

40 Responses to “the star wars kid”

  1. 1
    Steve Marcotte Says:

    John,
    “Like kinky sex tapes you made with your ex-boyfriend” ??? What are you telling Us???

    The family is ruined!

    Brother Steve

  2. 2
    beth King Says:

    oh my gosh, I can’t pull this one up on my computer, but PLEASE tell me you are NOT this DORKY!!! Beth

  3. 3
    John Marcotte Says:

    Steve, I said “you,” not “me.” Sorry to out you in public like this.

  4. 4
    swedishdwarf Says:

    Why are you ashamed of our love?

  5. 5
    Aaron Says:

    I couldn’t watch it all, I had to poke out my eyeballs when he started slipping on the towel in his haste to whip around the “Towel-Rod of Doom”. Good thing I’m a touch typist.

  6. 6
    John Marcotte Says:

    Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a lighting stand. You did watch the remix, didn’t you? That’s where all the good stuff is.

  7. 7
    Dan OLeary Says:

    Dude you are abou to get farked. Save yourself and get this mirrored asap. Just a heads up from a totalfarker. LATE

  8. 8
    church of fark Says:

    brilliant.

  9. 9
    goatboy Says:

    ah man this sever is about to get nailed
    behold the power of fark
    goat boy

  10. 10
    John Marcotte Says:

    Damn. I finally get on FARK and it’s a video link that’s going to pound my server into the ground in about six minutes flat.

  11. 11
    Nelson Says:

    Ha-ha

  12. 12
    Creamy Goodness Says:

    Hey look, I can download all three at the same time. WHOOOOPPEEEE!!!!!

    /asshat.

  13. 13
    thereisnospoon Says:

    ha ha.. funny stuff. not as good as the star wars one, but the sfx were better. mind you im a matrix nerd.
    and your all wrong, its one of those things for getting golf balls outta water.

  14. 14
    silversow Says:

    Check out my site for another Mortal Kombat version as well as lots of other hacked videos.

  15. 15
    Chaon Says:

    Can somebody please tell me how to make money on the internet?

  16. 16
    SecretSquirrel Says:

    Chaon: Ask random people on a site featuring a video of a kid being a Jedi with a golf ball scooper… oh, wait - you already did that.

    Well, seeing as how you’ve elimanated the OBVIOUS sources…..

  17. 17
    TheFlopper Says:

    Fark rules. This kid is great. I highly recommend that you donate to this poor fat slob. We should be paying for humiliation of this quality.

  18. 18
    eric butera Says:

    Get a job and pay for it yourself if you feel this is that important.

  19. 19
    smoothpoo Says:

    No, no we all know it’s the porno ads

  20. 20
    Naztafari Says:

    The kid already got a whole crapload of cash (about $4,000 as of last week or so), should be enough to cover his wounded ego. S’probably getting more daily. Good for him!

  21. 21
    GrownUpDweeb Says:

    Man, I tell you what. My heart really goes out to this kid. Why don’t you send this kid some money rather than the host of this site and all the other people that are exploiting him for laughs.

    Poor Kid.

  22. 22
    Peppe316 Says:

    GrownUpDweeb
    waxy.org has already gathered ~$2000 for the kid

  23. 23
    Power of Fark Says:

    You should find more hosts for those videos.

  24. 24
    BigDaddy Says:

    Damn server has been farked

  25. 25
    alter ego Says:

    downloading at 4.49K ROFL

    you got farked up son

  26. 26
    Dolfin Says:

    Yay.. 2k/sec.

  27. 27
    ladysaria Says:

    Not all farkers are such asshats, I downloaded it from a mirror after reading your plea to save your bandwidth.

  28. 28
    tomalak16 Says:

    Hey that’s me!
    uh.. never mind..

  29. 29
    SomeJerk Says:

    I decided I wanted to pound on the server, so I downloaded it from here.

    I’m getting 4K/sec.

    Why did you guys not give credit to the makers of the special effects versions?

  30. 30
    John Marcotte Says:

    I pulled down off Bitorrent. No attribution was given on the site I grabbed them from. If anyone has the info, I’d be happy to put it up

  31. 31
    Genevieve Says:

    Haha… Way to go for both remixes. I wish I got money every time I was humiliated, be it in public or on the ‘net! Even just an iPod would do. But both? Lucky kid.

  32. 32
    3809940TAA Says:

    absolutly great. the kid’s getting paid for the humiliation, so it all pays off in the end i guess.

    both remixes are great. thanks for making these readily available to all of the Star Wars geeks that haven’t yet admitted to behaving like this in the past.

  33. 33
    Seamonkey Says:

    Yeah, well the kid is not taking the money on the advice of his lawyer. Yeah, that’s right, he’s going to sue the people that put the video on the net. Now I feel better about laughing at him.

  34. 34
    kwyjibo Says:

    I got the first file from bittorrent, but then http://www.fdntech.com/files went down forever. Can’t even load that site. So… your page gets hammered. Sorry.

  35. 35
    kywjibo Says:

    Also, the grammar in the remixed scrolling text is painful.

  36. 36
    John Marcotte Says:

    Bittorrent is still working for me. Try again.

  37. 37
    John Marcotte Says:

    Star Wars Kid might be suing people who put the video on the net.

    http://www.jish.nu/2003_05_01_archive.php#200359792

  38. 38
    junglebunnypoo Says:

    bandwidth.bandwidth.bandwidth.

  39. 39
    Greg Says:

    is that a thing for getting golf ball out of lakes?

  40. 40
    brunolefou Says:

    Hey everybody, the legend continue and a lots of guy still work on new movie…come see the latest at http://www.brunolefou.com

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