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top five stupid spider-man plots

January 8th, 2008 by John Marcotte

Spider-Man: One More DayAt 45 years old, Spider-Man is still one of the greatest comic-book heroes of all time. But that doesn’t mean that every every Spider-Man story is a gem. Recently, Marvel infuriated fans with the One More Day storyline, where Peter’s Aunt May was shot and lay dying for the umpteenth time. Just when you thought they might finally bump her off once and for all, Peter decides to sell his marriage (not his soul) to the demon Mephisto so that his decrepit 80-year-old aunt can live.

So we are supposed to believe that after 10-20 years of crime-fighting and multiple encounters with the supernatural, Peter is not smart enough to turn down a deal from the devil. He’s also willing to junk his marriage with his doting, supermodel wife to save the life of a woman who has been on her deathbed so often she has the funeral home on speed dial. It just doesn’t make sense. Comic book fans world-wide have their Green Lantern underoos in a twist and they aren’t afraid to blog about it.

As stupid as it is, I can see why Marvel did it. Resetting reality so that Peter’s a swinging bachelor again puts him back in line with the movies and allows current writers to shed the baggage of years and years of convoluted continuity. Marvel is counting on the long-time fans returning, even if this storyline sucks goat balls, because they’ve done worse in the past and the fans always come back. One More Day isn’t the stupidest Spider-Man plot Marvel has unleashed on the public. In fact, it’s not even in the top five. Read the rest of this entry »

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in-n-out’s bible passages

December 19th, 2007 by John Marcotte

or

Holy Cow! You got your Jesus in my hamburger!

Holy Cow

From our top-rated guide to the secret menu to Eric Albertoni’s stomach-churning pictorial on surviving the ingestion of a 20×20, In-n-Out has long been Badmouth’s favorite fast-food establishment.

But the secrets of In-n-Out don’t stop at the menu. Sharp-eyed patrons have noticed that there are biblical passages inscribed on the wrappers of In-n-Out’s burgers, sodas and milkshakes. How did they get there? What do they mean? Can a Double-Double technically take the place of a Communion Wafer? We’ll attempt to answer these and other pertinent questions on the following pages. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Articles | 8 Comments »

target starts stockpiling wiis december 4

December 3rd, 2007 by John Marcotte

Wii logo

Almost a full year ago, Badmouth published the target wii inventory checker, which allowed you to see how many Wiis your local Target store had on hand, even if they were hidden out of site in the back storeroom. (The trick still works, by the way, so check it out if you’re looking to score a Wii.)

Little did we realize that it would still be getting traffic after all this time, as Wiis remain an elusive item in the wild. An enterprising Badmouth reader and Target employee by the name of “Sarah C” recently added this to the conversation:

Sarah C writes:

I work for Target, though I’m not a pimply-faced teenager. It still holds true that we hold the wii’s until Sunday morning when they are in the weekly ad. Except for right now until December 4th. Now we are allowed to sell them as soon as we get them in. We don’t know when that is, it’s a surprise to us too. Starting on the 4th we have to start holding them again until they go on ad again.

Starting on December 4th, Target will be stockpiling Wiis for a future ad. The smart money is on December 9th or 16th. So if you are still among the Wii-less, plan on getting up early and getting down to Target on Sunday.

Sarah also gave us a few tips on how to get more detailed information on Wii availability from the redshirts. We’ve updated the Target checker appropriately.

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Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

October 3rd, 2008 by Julie Tobias


Rating: ★★★☆☆
Director: Peter Sollett
Starring: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings, Ari Graynor

Enter a hip, indie world where high-school students stay out all night drinking, listening to great music and running around the dirty/sexy streets of New York. Everyone is skinny, funny and cool. Doesn’t sound at all like your high school experience? Join the nerdy club!

Innocent doormat Nick, played by Michael Cera (of Juno and Superbad fame), is lured out of his lovesick daze for the evening by his well-meaning bandmates. After playing a gig in the city (to which Nick’s snarky ex, played by Alexis Dziena, shows up) everyone separates to hunt for the clandestine show of their favorite band, Where’s Fluffy? Nick winds up in his beat-up Yugo, joined by Norah, the slightly bored Kat Dennings (The 40-Year-Old Virgin), who plays a poor little rich girl who is just aching for someone to “get” her. They flirt. They fight. They listen to music. Following clues to the Where’s Fluffy? venue, Nick and Norah instead find what they’ve really been looking for: love. Or at least really, really like.

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Miracle at St. Anna (2008)

September 26th, 2008 by Brian McDonough

Rating: ★★★★½
Director: Spike Lee
Starring: Derek Luke, Michael Ealy, Laz Alonso, Omar Benson Miller, Valentina Cervi

Spike Lee movies vary in quality to a degree rarely seen among filmmakers. You can always count on a Scorcese movie to be pretty damned good, at minimum, and you can always trust Michael Bay to deliver something between a steaming turd and a turd. Spike Lee, however, will comfortably crank out something as unbearably awful as 2004’s She Hate Me, and yet it’s no surprise when he can come up with something as engaging as his latest, The Miracle at St. Anna.

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Ghost Town (2008)

September 19th, 2008 by Brian McDonough

Rating: ★★★½☆
Director: David Koepp
Starring: Ricky Gervais, Greg Kinnear, Téa Leoni

So Ghost Town has a silly premise to launch a fairly familiar journey for a mean, lonely man who needs to let his love light shine. It has some good moments, largely provided by Ricky Gervais’ infallible comic delivery, and his terrific chemistry with costars Greg Kinnear and Téa Leoni, but it’s not the sum of the parts that make this movie worth seeing, it’s the sum of what’s not there.

At no point in this film do large globs of semen hang from Leoni’s earlobes. There are no small pets using human toilets or biting people in the crotch or being fatally abused. There is a naked guy played for comedy, but we never get the full monte for a cheap laugh. Racist stereotypes are not the comic crutch. Absolutely no pies were sexually violated in the making of this movie.

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Burn After Reading (2008)

September 12th, 2008 by Brian McDonough

Rating: ★★★★☆
Director: Ethan & Joel Coen
Starring: George Clooney, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt

Following the intense drama No Country for Old Men, the Coen Brothers return to their sweet spot—deadpan black comedies about losers. With Burn After Reading they take on the spy genre in an age when political thrillers are particularly imbued with sociological commentary. Here, their commentary seems to be that there are losers everywhere you go, and our hyped-up age of espionage and the technological eradication of privacy is stocked with the same old human venality.

The result, with a top-grade cast cutting loose in the Coens’ weird universe, is a fun and unpredictable romp that delivers their trademark combination of laughably bland screwups and unexpected violence.

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Traitor (2008)

August 27th, 2008 by Brian McDonough

Rating: ★★★★☆
Director: Jeffrey Nachmanoff
Starring: Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Said Taghmaoui, Jeff Daniels

Don Cheadle is a hell of an actor, and it’s always a good thing when he gets something of substance, like a Hotel Rwanda, that’s worthy of his talent. In Traitor, he makes a strong performance from potentially difficult material, and is the key reason this introspective thriller about Islamic terrorism is worth your ten dollars.

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