Jones Soda Co. has rich history of making unusually flavored sodas. From “Fufu Berry” to “Blue Bubblegum,” they have consistently embraced the exotic as part of their marketing strategy. As strange as their regular flavors are, nothing comes close to Jones Soda during the holidays. A few years back they introduced what has become a reoccurring holiday classic: Turkey & Gravy soda. Now I know it sounds disgusting, but actually…well…yeah, it’s pretty disgusting.
But people gobbled it up. Everyone wanted to know what carbonated turkey in a bottle tasted like. Eventually this holiday tradition morphed into the Jones Holiday Soda Pack, available at finer Targets. The pack costs $10 or five sodas, and a portion of the proceeds go to support the Toys for Tots campaign with a goal to raise $50,000.
This year’s pack includes the traditional Turkey and Gravy Soda, Sweet Potato Soda, Dinner Roll Soda, Pea Soda and to follow it all up Antacid Flavored Soda. We hastily assembled a crack team of Badmouth agents, and decided to see how the holiday flavors stacked up in a blind taste test.
Methodology
We gave each of our panel a single Dixie Cup of each soda in order of how disgusting we guessed they were. The bottles were hidden by a paper bag. For each soda they were required to answer three questions:
- Can you identify the flavor?
- Describe the taste.
- How much would we have to pay you to drink a full bottle?
The panelists had not even heard of the Jones Holiday Soda Pack, so their answers were not tainted by preconceptions.
Dinner Roll Soda
Can you identify the flavor?
Sara: Lemon mineral water
Joe: No.
Isaac: No.
Steve: No.
Camille: Vanilla ice cream?
Describe the taste.
Sara: Lemony, bubbly.
Joe: Not too bad. Sweetish.
Isaac: Orange taste
Steve: Citrus? Orange? Tangy-tart.
Camille: It tastes like vanilla and it seems smooth.
How much would we have to pay you to drink a full bottle?
Sara: $5.75
Joe: $5.00
Isaac: $2.00
Steve: $6.48
Camille: $10.00
Average: $5.87
Sweet Potato Soda
Can you identify the flavor?
Sara: Nope.
Joe: No.
Isaac: No.
Steve: No.
Camille: Pumpkin pie?
Describe the taste.
Sara: Creamy, nasty, orange?
Joe: Orangey. Bad, Creamy. Tangy.
Isaac: Tangerine, caramel.
Steve: Sweet. Cotton-candy.
Camille: It tastes like pumpkin spices and it’s a bit sweet.
How much would we have to pay you to drink a full bottle?
Sara: $17.20
Joe: $20.00
Isaac: $0.00
Steve: $8.99
Camille: $20.00
Average: $13.24
Antacid Soda
Can you identify the flavor?
Sara: Pepto-Bismol
Joe: No.
Isaac: Tastes like Pepto-Bismol.
Steve: No.
Camille: Pepto-Bismol
Describe the taste.
Sara: Pink, chalky, why does everything bubble?
Joe: Bubble-gum. Little kick. Bubbly.
Isaac: Strong aftertaste.
Steve: No idea.
Camille: Tastes like medicine. Exactly like Pepto-Bismol
How much would we have to pay you to drink a full bottle?
Sara: $32.80
Joe: $15.00
Isaac: $0.00
Steve: $15.00
Camille: $100.00 (Pepto-Bismol sucks)
Average: $32.56
Turkey & Gravy Soda
Can you identify the flavor?
Sara: No.
Joe: No.
Isaac: No.
Steve: No.
Camille: Gravy.
Describe the taste.
Sara: Buttery. Smooth. The gross candy that you get at school carnivals. It burns my throat.
Joe: Root beer. Creamy. Nutty.
Isaac: It’s sweet. Kind of chocolaty.
Steve: Buttery/nutty.
Camille: Tastes quite disgusting. I think gravy is pretty disgusting, so it’s make sense if it were gravy-flavored soda. (Who would make that?)
How much would we have to pay you to drink a full bottle?
Sara: $82.10
Joe: $25.00
Isaac: $5.00
Steve: $6.30
Camille: $120.00
Average: $47.68
Pea Soda
Can you identify the flavor?
Sara: No.
Joe: No.
Isaac: No.
Steve: No.
Camille: Fig Newtons?
Describe the taste.
Sara: A little sweet. Make me gag a bit. It looks like pond scum.
Joe: Oily.
Isaac: Sweet. Strong aftertaste. Tangy.
Steve: Reminds me of a vegetable that I once ate.
Camille: At fist it tastes spicy, but after a bit, it tastes like Fig Newtons. The color is really NOT appealing.
How much would we have to pay you to drink a full bottle?
Sara: $50.71
Joe: $35.00
Isaac: $10.00
Steve: $20.00
Camille: $80.00
Average: $39.14
Conclusions
We did pretty good at guessing which sodas were most disgusting. We would have been perfect, except that the two women in our survey had some sort of “gravy-phobia” that kicked Pea Soda out of the basement.
Camille was our champion taster, with several correct answers, followed closely by Sara. The antacid was the flavor that nearly everyone got — except for Steve, who would probably have difficulty identifying ice water.
The flavors this year were honestly not that bad. Last year’s “Brussels Sprout Soda” ranks among the most disgusting thing I have ever voluntarily ingested, so anything was bound to be an improvement.
Stay tuned for more advancements in Badmouth-related science.
January 15th, 2007 at 11:37 am
Last year my son offered his friend 10 bucks to down the Brussells Sprout soda without getting sick. His friend somehow managed to get it all down before it came back up on him. We were highly entertained and didn’t have to pay. For the record, it reportedly is twice as bad coming up as it was going down.
February 27th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
The Brussels Sprout Soda was by far one of the most disgusting liquids I have ever ingested. It was like drinking stale yak urine…not that I know what yak urine tastes like…
January 28th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
February 8th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Jones soda makes some of the best real sodas ever. Their cola kicks solid ass and their berry lemonade and FuFu berry rock.