in-n-out’s bible passages

or

Holy Cow! You got your Jesus in my hamburger!

From our top-rated guide to the secret menu to Eric Albertoni’s stomach-churning pictorial on surviving the ingestion of a 20×20, In-n-Out has long been Badmouth’s favorite fast-food establishment.

But the secrets of In-n-Out don’t stop at the menu. Sharp-eyed patrons have noticed that there are biblical passages inscribed on the wrappers of In-n-Out’s burgers, sodas and milkshakes. How did they get there? What do they mean? Can a Double-Double technically take the place of a Communion Wafer? We’ll attempt to answer these and other pertinent questions on the following pages.

Why are there biblical passages on he fast food wrappers at In-n-Out?

In-n-Out is a privately held corporation. They are still completely owned by the Snyder family. And the Snyder family is down with the G.O.D. And that’s OK with me. The Snyders can do this because they own In-n-Out lock, stock and barrel — and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Since the Snyders own the entire chain and have refused to franchise, they don’t only get to slip Bible passages into your cheeseburgers. They also get to demand that all of their hamburger is ground at their own plant. They get to decide that none of their food will ever be frozen (so all locations must be within a few hours drive of Southern California.) In short, the Bible passages are just another sign that In-n-Out is owned by real people, and not a soulless corporation.

Do the Bible passages mean In-n-Out supports radical anti-abortion groups, intelligent design, anti-homosexual agenda or ground-beef-based faith healing?

We have no idea what the Snyders do with their money. It’s possible that they spend it in ways that we wouldn’t approve of. But hey, McDonald’s is mowing down the rainforests, Carl’s Jr. employs Paris Hilton and we have it on good authority that the guy in the Burger King outfit molests sheep. (OK we made that part up.)

The point is it is entirely possible to be religious without being intolerant. We know that In-n-Out makes great hamburgers, they pay their employees well and provide them with full benefits and paid vacations. Sounds like they are Christians in the good sense of the word to me.

What are the biblical passages and where can I find them?

We’re so glad you asked. There are four different Bible passages. We’ve took photos, looked up the passages and provided a brief analysis, complete with grading below:

1. Burger and Cheeseburger Wrappers

Revelation 3:20
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

This is my personal favorite. It’s religious. It’s food related. And it’s from the book of Revelation, which was obviously written while the apostles were dropping acid. A+

2. Double Double Wrapper

Nahum 1:7
“The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,”

Good solid Christian message. I feel I have to deduct points because I had to look up the so-called “Book of Nahum” to prove to myself that it was actually in the Bible. B

3. Milkshake Cup

Proverbs 3:5
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”

I would give this message more credence, but people if it was that easy to know what God wanted you to do, everyone would do it. In fact. the people who seem most certain that they are doing God’s will tend to be the biggest assholes. Evidently God wants us to hate fags, kill the Western infidels and invade Iraq. If that’s the case, I’d rather “lean on my own understanding.” God gave me that, too. C-

4. Soda Cup

John 3:16
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

This is best line in the Bible. It’s like the Cliff Notes version of Christianity. It may be a little overdone, but you can’t beat a classic. A-

Conclusion
So there you have it. Everything there is to know about the Bible passages on the wrappers at In-n-Out.