Comments on: High Tension

By: Rouver

Rouver — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 02:11:09 +0000

Too bad Brian doesn’t get involved in the responses to his reviews anymore…

By: Wasted Time

Wasted Time — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 16:07:07 +0000

I watched it. I can’t believe they fucked up the truck logic. I really can’t. You must have reality somewhere – a generally accepted set of rules. Fire is hot. Things drop when you let go…. basic physics, or else characters could die or bleed, etc. Despite these rules, like oxygen requirements or automobiles that use gasoline… it seems it’s very MUCH okay to foreshadow a very REAL truck that plays a crucial role in the story, a truck Marie could not have seen, yet, we are made privy to the decapped BJ.

When a director deceives the audience with fallacious points of view it is unFUCKINGforgivable.

It’s like David Copperfield using video cuts to pull off an “illusion.” If I want that shit, I’ll watch reruns of Bewitched.

I kept waiting for them to SOMEHOW explain where the truck came from. If they had at least panned to Marie’s apartment somewhere that could have showed a framed picture of Alex standing outside at home, next to the old truck. That would have given Marie fantasy material. I don’t ask for FUCKING MUCH. However, if the pictures of previously murdered women were actual trophies then this whole bitch is completely hopeless.

The people who give it high stars are into the violence and are “oh so impressed” by special effects blood pumping. Ya bunch of fucking virgins.

I don’t care how hot Cecile de France is, this was a WASTE OF MY GODDAMN TIME. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE THROWN A DECK OF CARDS IN THE AIR AND WATCHED LAND AND THEN SPRAYED FAKE BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE.

YIPPE FUCKING WHOOOOOOO.

It would have made as much sense.

But if you like gratuitous latex layering and gallons of red fluid and not just “improbable” but IMPOSSIBLE plot points…then THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU! RENT IT NOW!

By: oma

oma — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 23:49:41 +0000

that list john marcotte gave it completely ridiculous. he must be kidding.. Bubba ho-tep? one of the worst horror movie ever made but still a good comedy…just like shaun of the dead and scream….want some real horror movie then check out “les rivieres pourpres” 1 and 2.

anyways haute tension wasn’t that bad..

By: Rachael Albers

Rachael Albers — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 00:42:53 +0000

For this review I must say…
Thank you.

Thank you, Lord for creating someone who gave a fair and lucid assessment of this horrible film. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I am your biggest fan.

By: Darnell

Darnell — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 09:06:12 +0000

High Tension is a great movie…Cecile De France is so hot that the movie was like porn…ne wayz she gave a great performance…sickly twisted and terrifing…see it

By: » The Descent (2005) » Badmouth

» The Descent (2005) » Badmouth — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 09:20:51 +0000

[...] “The Descent” is a smart movie in a genre where it’s not just easy, but almost standard, to be dumb. Horror films, like any kind of action-adventure movie, too often let special effects, flashy camera work and surprise plot gimmicks stomp all over plot and characterization and basic logic. Yeah, “High Tension,” you steaming pile of cliché, misogyny and plot idiocy, I’m lookin’ at you. Here, Neil Marshall makes the oldest horror plot — there’s something scary in the dark — fresh and thrilling. The movie delivers the mystery, tension and terror we want in spades while skipping the numbing, often insulting genre tropes that have been blatantly mocked in the “Scary Movie” series. Hell, this is a film in which woman after woman is murdered as brutally as in any film I can recall, yet not only is it not vulnerable to charges of sexism, the film is likely to be praised for its treatment of women. The filmmaker sort of has to do well by his female cast: The only man in the movie drops out of the story in the first five minutes. The film breaks into two parts — first we follow a group of athletic young women onto a spelunking exhibition that goes wrong. Lost in a dark, claustrophobic underworld, they face all the real-world risks and tensions that one character conveniently rattled off before they started their adventure. And the film does so well at creating tension in this wholly realistic manner that it’s almost a shame when, halfway through, the women stumble into the Creepy Monster portion of the story. [...]

By: Bored w/Brian

Bored w/Brian — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 19:20:36 +0000

What a pathetic ComicCon enveloped fanboy.

Attack of the Clones? Is that all you got? Yet another Star Wars reference? You ARE one of those Kevin Smith understudies. Thinking you are a published writer by blogging your hot air onto the internet and actually having some frame of context in your comments are two terribly different things.

And how do “16 Blocks” and “Must Love Dogs” get the exact same comment from completely different bloggers? Is this guy beefing up his very own reviews!? What a complete loser.

By: John Marcotte

John Marcotte — Mon, 11 Jul 2005 01:30:56 +0000

Nope. But I don’t need to in order to state that it wasn’t the “best horror film in the past 10 years. Hands down!!”

The only way you could legitimately claim that was if there was a general consensus supporting that proposition. There wasn’t.

In general, the movie got bad reviews. And even those reviewers that gave it a marginal “thumbs up” noted the problematic script and the implausible twist ending.

It may not be the worst movie of the past 10 years, but it definitely wasn’t the best.

By: swedishdwarf

swedishdwarf — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

This is a slasher flick. It’s about stupid white girls getting cut up. That’s the genre. But it’s a great slasher flick. If you hadn’t decided before entering the theater that the experience was going to be horrible it wouldn’t have been. Your review shows open contempt for splatter movies, you could not possibly have enjoyed this one. And that’s ok. But this being a bad movie and you being unable to enjoy it are not the same thing. Viewers that like this style of film will find High Tension on their short list of favorites.

By: Brian McDonough

Brian McDonough — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

That’s an interesting point, dwarf. True, I’m not a big fan of stupid white girls getting cut up. But that doesn’t absolve a movie from having a coherent plot, say, or halfway consistent lighting.

Your saying it’s a great slasher flick because it strokes your misogyny is as useless as saying, oh, “Attack of the Clones” doesn’t suck — despite wooden dialogue, illogical plotting and embarrassing character “development” — because it’s sci-fi, and it has rocket ships. Ergo, good science fiction movie. Or “Batman Forever” was a good Batman movie ’cause it had Batman in it. Set the bar a little higher, short stuff.

I went into the theater knowing only that “High Tension” was some kind of thriller/suspense/horror film, and I was looking forward to it. I had no idea it was a degenerate, fetishistic piece of sloppily written masturbatory fodder.

My review only shows open contempt for slasher movies if you’re defining the genre as not requiring a narrative, actual suspense, interesting characters or, really, anything but gruesome carnage. If that’s your definition of slasher films, sure, I have open contempt for that.