false idols

America is firmly in the grip of Idol-mania for the sixth year in a row. Even as we speak, the finalists are in a desperate race to see who will earn the privilege to put out a crappy album that no one with any sense will buy. But what Idol contestants lack in singing ability and charisma, they make up for in rap sheets and general sleaziness.

Every season, there is at least one scandal involving an Idol singer– including season two, when it appeared that they pulled their contestants directly from halfway houses and rehab programs. Here, gathered for the first time, is a comprehensive list of all the best Idol scandals, from the thieves to the tramps, the brawlers to the tokers.

Nikki McKibbin

Worked as a Stripper
Season One
Fifth Place

Nikki was the original Idol scandal girl She started out working as a stripper — taking her clothes off and writhing around on stage for money — before transitioning into a wholesome bubblegum pop star. It was somewhat like watching Christina Agulera’s life story in reverse. Idol producers decided that McKibbin had done nothing illegal and more importantly, had told them about her past during the interview process — setting the standard by which all future Idol scandals would be judged. McKibbin’s name resurfaces every time another Idol is caught doing something naked, e.g. season three’s Frenchie Davis and season six’s Antonella Barba.

Where is she now? After numerous delays, McKibbin is finally set to release her debut album on May 1, 2007, according to her Myspace page.

Jaered Andrews

Killed a Man
Season Two
Hollywood

Idol producers quickly cut Jaered Andrews from the show claiming he already had a record contract. But the truth was that Andrews was out celebrating being selected for the season two semifinals, when a customer sexually harassed a female friend of Andrews who had passed out in the bar. Andrews gave the guy one punch, knocked him over and he was killed instantly when his head hit the pavement. Andrews was charged with and later acquitted of assault. No murder or manslaughter charge was ever filed, because it was clear to prosecutors he had no intention of killing anyone. Out of everyone on the list, I feel most sorry for Jaered, who make a single mistake that he will have to live with for the rest of his life.

Where is he now? No information.

Daniel James “DJ” Boyd

Unlawful Sexual Activity with a Minor
Season Two
Hollywood

OK, we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. No one is going to remember this guy who made it to the coveted “top 70″ in season two. But what he lacks in singing talent he makes up for in sleaziness and criminality. Last summer, Boyd was charged with unlawful sexual activity with a minor and unlawful supply of alcohol to minors for getting both a 14-year-old and 15-year-old girl drunk then engaging in a little statutory rape. For bonus points, Boyd videotaped the entire encounter, which won him additional charges of possession and production of child pornography.

Where is he now? I couldn’t find a follow up story to tell us what happened to young Mr. Boyd, but he was caught committing statutory rape in Utah, and he preserved the moment on videotape. I think its safe to to assume that he’s busy trying to make sure that no one on his cell block finds out what he’s in for.

Corey Clark

Assault, Check Fraud
Season Two
Booted from Finals

Sideshow-Bob-clone Corey Clark was given the heave from season two after facing charges for assault and resisting arrest when the cops showed up to stop him from slapping his sister around. There were also rumors of an affair with judge Paula Abdul. Later it was revealed that he had been sued by both Wal-Mart and a local grocery store for passing more than $600 in bad checks. After his first album sold like salmonella-tainted beef tongue, Clark tried to peddle his version of the purported affair with Abdul as a book, but it soon appeared that although Abdul might be crazy, she wasn’t stupid.

Where is he now? Clark released another album no one bought and put out his crappy tell-all as an “e-book” after no publisher would wade through the slime to pick it up.

Frenchie Davis

Porn Site Diva
Season Two
Booted

Frenchie Davis was considered an early front-runner for Idol season two, before topless photos of her touching herself in an impure fashion surfaced on the Web site “Daddy’s Little Girls” which claimed “the girls have all grown up…and the boys have come to play.” Davis was over 18 at the time, and claimed that she needed the money from the photo shoot to re-enroll at Howard University where she was a theater major.

Where is she now? Davis went on to appear in the Broadway production of “Rent” as well as some television hosting work.

Julia DeMato

DUI, Possession of Marijuana and Cocaine
Season Two
10th Place

Top-heavy professional cosmetologist DeMato never managed to make it very far as a singer after crapping out in the season two finals, but maybe her attempts at getting her creative juices flowing again by driving with alcohol, marijuana and cocaine in her system turned out to be not such a hot idea. She was charged with DUI and possession of cocaine and pot, but accepted a deal combining probation, community service and counseling.

Where is she now? DeMato is back working as a cosmetologist and picking up trash along the side of a highway near you.

Trenyce (aka Lashundra Cobbins)

Felony Theft
Season Two
Fifth Place

Lashundra Cobbins may have changed her name to “Treynece” because it was more commercial, or she may have changed it to avoid association with the felony theft charges that she was convicted of in 1999. Cobbins was asked what the most embarrassing moment of her life was in a Q&A segment on the Fox Television web site. She answered, “I don’t have one that I can think of.” I guess some people consider getting arrested, booked and thrown in the county slam more embarrassing than others.

Where is he now? Trenyce did some light television work after American Idol and lots of local events in Atlanta before fading back into obscurity.

Donnie Williams

DUI
Season Three
Semifinals

Donnie Williams decided to celebrate his advancement to season three’s semifinals with at least one too many after-party cocktails. In fairness, he did try to minimize the time he spent behind the wheel by hurrying back to his hotel room: Police clocked him going more than 100 miles per hour when they pulled him over. Idol producers decided to replace troublemaker Williams with nice guy George Huff who made it all the way to number five.

Where is he now? Williams has vanished from the face of the earth, having failed to even earn a Wikipedia page.

Bo Bice

Cocaine Abuse
Season Four
Second Place

Season four’s best singer and all-around nice guy Bo Bice had a few skeletons in his closet as well, including a 2003 marijuana bust and a 2001 charge for cocaine. Bice copped to the arrests early in the process, and the producers of the show decided to forgive and forget.

Where is he now? After putting out a album crippled by over production and sub-mediocre songwriting, Bice is waiting for his Idol contract to expire so he can do something good.

Scott Savol

Domestic Abuse
Season Four
Fifth Place

Scott Savol made it all the way to the number five spot in season four of American Idol, even though he wasn’t that great of a singer (a prevailing theory was that pranksters were voting for the worst contestant in order to disrupt the show) and even after The Smoking Gun revealed that he was convicted of misdemeanor assault for beating his girlfriend (and the mother of his child) with a telephone phone. Several Web sites reported that he hit her so hard that he broke the phone. No word on whether he broke the girl.

Where is he now? Savol is currently working on an album that no one outside of his immediate family will ever buy.

Mario Vazquez

Sexual Harassment
Season Four
Dropped out of Top 12

Vasquez was a somewhat of a enigma. One of the favorites of season five, he mysteriously dropped out after making it into the top 12 with no explanation given. Idol producers were mum about why he left as well. Internet speculation was that he refused to sign the soul-crushing, we-own-your-first-born-child contract that Idol producers require of their top 12 finalists. Two years later, and the reason for his mysterious departure may finally be revealed. On March 9, 2007, Vasquez and Idol producers were hit with a lawsuit accusing Vasquez of sexually harassing Magdaleno Olmos, a male employee of American Idol, allegedly following him into the bathroom, rubbing his genitals and masturbating in front of him. When that smooth seduction didn’t immediately produce results, Vasquez allegedly asked Olmos if he wanted oral sex. Olmos claims Idol producers ignored his complaints and fired him when he continued to ask for something to be done about Vasquez.

Where is he now? Vasquez released his self-titled debut album on September 26, 2006. It peaked at number 80 on the Billboard 100 chart.

Terrell and Derrell Brittenum

Felony Fraud
Season Five
Hollywood

The fantastically unlikeable Brittenum twins made giant asses of themselves on the air in season five, when Derrell quit in a bitchy little snit because he incorrectly thought Terrell had been cut. This led to a great moment when the twins had to come back and grovel to get back on the show when they figured out they had just left for no reason. The producers wanted them back. Unfortunately, the police wanted them even more. The twins were on the lam from the law when they auditioned, having used another person’s financial information to buy a 2005 Dodge Magnum, then neglected to make any payments.

Where are they now? I have no idea what these two are doing now, but I’m sure they’ve learned that a bitchy attitude and a great falsetto are not necessarily assets when serving time in the big house.

Bucky Covington

Impersonating His Own Twin
Season Five
Eighth Place

Good ol’ boy Bucky Covington was charged with resisting a public officer and giving fictitious information to a public officer after a bizarre scheme where he impersonated his twin brother Rocky. Rocky was in his pickup waiting to turn left into the driveway of their family home behind his father Gene, who was on a motorcycle, when 16-year-old Ryan Roller came over a rise in the road and slammed into the back of Rocky’s truck. Normally, this should be no problem. Rocky was stationary when he was hit. But there was a snag; it seems that Rocky was driving on a license that was suspended for speeding, drinking while driving and driving with a revoked license. The elder Covington was afraid that Rocky would face jail time for driving a suspended license for a second time in 16 months, and so he hastily arranged for Bucky to come out of the house and take Rocky’s place. Roller agreed to go along with the fiction. That would have been the end of it, except that Roller confessed to his father, who was enraged that the Covingtons were still expecting them to pay for all the damages, so he ratted Bucky out to the cops. Both brothers were charged with fraud, but the case fell apart when it became obvious that Roller could not tell the two brothers apart, and thus could not say with certainty who was driving at the time of the accident.

Where is he now? Covington’s cleverly titled debut album “Bucky” is slated for release on April 17, 2007.

Taylor Hicks

Marijuana Possession
Season Five
Winner

Soul Patrol captain Taylor Hicks was busted in 1998 when a police officer pulled him over for a routine traffic violation and “detected the odor of marijuana.” When Hicks opened the door, a “wooden pipe” fell out of the car. A subsequent search of Hicks car found a plastic bag of “vegetable matter” and another metal pipe. A court conflict delayed Hicks’ case, and it was eventually dropped for “want of prosecution” which means someone forgot about him.

Where is he now? Hicks has released his first album which debuted at number two on the charts.

Antonella Barba

Being a Big Ho-Bag
Season Six
Semifinals

Exceptionally hot and extraordinarily bitchy Antonella was this year’s scandal du jour. A steady of semi nude photos of Barba flooded the Internet and her moistened mammaries kept the marginally talented singer afloat in the competition long after her mediocre vocals, snotty facial expressions and crappy attitude had let her down. The photos ranged from the relatively harmless (Barba sunbathing topless with friends) to the offensive (frolicking in a paper-thin t-shirt in the World War II Veterans Memorial Fountain) to the probably fake (a woman that looks a bit like Barba making a faceless man very, very happy.)

Where is she now? In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Barba has been offered $250,000 to act as a “host” for popular “Girls Gone Wild” series of videos. I am not making this up.

Ashlyn Carr

Felony Criminal Mischief
Season Six
Hollywood

Ashlyn Carr was given a rare second chance by American Idol judges after her pretty voice and pretty face were overwhelmed by some pretty weird facial expressions during her San Antonio audition. But the Sugarland Texas native managed to get a golden ticket to Hollywood after being offered a second chance to audition. Unfortunately the police were not as forgiving later that summer when Carr was picked up for felony criminal mischief charges for pouring sugar in her ex-boyfriend’s gas tank, leading to more than $2500 in damages. Carr was cut in the first round in Hollywood.

Where is she now? Carr is still pursuing a career in the music/weird faces/psycho ex-girlfriends fields.

Thomas Daniels

DUI
Season Six
Hollywood

I have to admit that Daniels is mainly in here for completeness’s sake. He didn’t make much of an impression on me while he was on the show, and his crime was a DUI — illegal, but pretty boring. Ah well, we can’t all be car thieves and cocaine fiends.

Where is he now? Probably trying to put out an album or something. Who knows?

Akron Watson

Not Really Sure
Season Six
Almost Made It To Hollywood

Watson turned in an impressive performance with a soulful rendition of Sam Cooke’s Cupid in the San Antonio auditions, and secured a a coveted yellow ticket after winning over an initially reluctant and “bored” Simon Cowell. But Watson never made it to Hollywood, and no one seems to know why. The producers disinvited Watson after the audition show aired. Watson claims no explanation was given. He did have a pot bust on his record, but as we can see here, that isn’t usually a problem, and Watson claims he told producers about the arrest during the audition process.

Where is he now? Watson started a Web petition and media campaign to get himself reinstated to the show. From the looks of things, that didn’t work out to well for him.

Paula Abdul

Hit and Run
Celebrity Judge
Betty Ford Clinic

The highly medicated and always entertaining Abdul has been the Beavis to Simon Cowell’s Butthead for years now. With her almost-there observations and touchy-feely sentimentality, Abdul has consistently provided unintentional moments of levity with off-the-wall comments fueled by a potent mixture of Percodan, raspberry vodka and Diet Shasta. But in March of 2005, Abdul smacked her Mercedes into another car on an L.A. freeway and just kept on driving. That’s OK, Paula, we still love you and you have a wonderful spirit.

Where is he now? Paula is currently creating massive amounts of incoherent sexual tension with Simon.