Drag Me to Hell

Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Alison Lohman, Justin Long

We love rollercoasters because they surprise and thrill us in a way that, while largely based on startling us, is also based on familiarity—you know how the roller coaster will surprise you. There’s going way up, going way down, jerking one way or another, and the whole corkscrew thing. That’s really all there is. But each new roller coaster recombines the simple elements, and throws them at us (more accurately, throws us at them) with so much speed that all we can do is surrender to the ride, laugh and scream at the silly wild thrill of it, and then stagger to our feet when it’s over.

So, that’s Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell and it’s freakin’ awesome. Go see it.

It’s not the story that matters. There’s a couple of innocent young folk who cross paths with Ancient Evil, and things start going wrong. Then they go really wrong. The victim(s) get more and more desperate to escape impending supernatural doom that eventually they must face their demonic foe in a dramatic and effects-laden showdown, mano-a-demono, and only one side can walk away.

The Raimis, Sam and his co-writing brother, Ivan, take the basic story, and then they take the basic scare props—mysterious noises, eerie winds, shadows creeping up the wall, voices, buzzing insects, creepy things that suddenly pop up behind you! and layer them one on top of the other. One can only imagine the two of them sitting in a room, maybe one with a notepad and the other a laptop, going like this: “And when she looks around, the evil old woman’s there.” “Yeah, yeah, and she opens her mouth and vomits out blood!” “Yeah, but not blood, more like, like maggots!” “Oh, yeah, a freakin’ shower of maggots!” “Firehose blast of maggots!” “Right, right, okay, and the girl is covered in it, and we get a close up of the maggots in her ears and in her mouth …” “Total stomach-turner!” “Total! So gross!” “Oh, yeah, this is great. I gotta write this down.”

That’s the movie. And the guys do it on a low budget, with such a sense of verve, of sheer joy (so unlike Sam’s soul-deadening Spider-Man III), with such a respect for the classic elements of a good, fun scare, that the movie is just a blast. They love the classics—actually creating tension with a monster’s shadow creeping up the wall, daring to freak out 2009 audiences with shadow puppets and then messing with the staples, and adding new elements, to make it fresh.

Drawbacks? None. The main cast is faintly ridiculous. Justin Long, the annoying hipster douche from the “I’m a Mac” commercials, plays a college professor. Granted, the dude is 30, but he looks like he’s about 18. His girlfriend, our main character, is played by Alison Lohman (29), who is supposed to be up for assistant manager of her bank, but looks like she might not quite be old enough to go out for head cheerleader. (Alternatively, this may just be a sign that I’m getting old.) One forgets this after awhile, because this film isn’t about the characters, or even about their fates. There is such glee in the filmmaker’s playfulness that we don’t bother to question the storytelling when the punishment for petty theft, say, is an eternity of burning torment in HELL but the film never feels real enough to worry about that. These are actors having fun putting on a show for us, and hell is no more real than the plastic maggot-vomit.

This combination of youthful energy and mastery of technique is rare in films, and worth checking out even if you don’t like horror films (I generally don’t). In the age of torture porn, it’s even refreshing. And in that regard, do we award bonus points for this being an original film, rather than yet another retread of a tired title or brand that no one gives a damn to see revived by creatively bankrupt Hollywood? Yes, yes we do.

You know how those log plume rides always snap your picture on the big last splash and try to sell it to you? This movie, when you leave the theater, you should find out that a hidden camera was videotaping your reactions and you can buy a clip of all the screaming and cringing and laughing you did in there.

Tags: horror, sam raimi