Badmouth » The Five Spot

Top 5 Olympic Opening Ceremony Moments China Wants You To Forget

John Marcotte — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:58:27 +0000

The Olympics are heading to a close, which makes it a perfect time to reflect on how it all began. The opening ceremonies were – by all accounts – spectacular. It was that grandest spectacle that I, personally, have ever seen. But almost as soon as the opening ceremonies were over, journalists and bloggers started [...] Related posts:

Breaking the Digg Chain

top five stupid spider-man plots

John Marcotte — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:43:21 +0000

At 45 years old, Spider-Man is still one of the greatest comic-book heroes of all time. But that doesn’t mean that every every Spider-Man story is a gem. Recently, Marvel infuriated fans with the One More Day storyline, where Peter’s Aunt May was shot and lay dying for the umpteenth time. Just when you thought [...] Related posts:

Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals

John Marcotte — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 07:17:29 +0000

Pink elephants on parade Q: How many Republican politicians can you fit in the closet? A: Evidently, all of them. It’s gone past ridiculous and straight to the absurd. At this point, it appears your average public restroom has more gay Republicans in it than clean handtowels. The “holier-than-thou” party has spent an awful lot [...] Related posts:

top five flying cars

John Marcotte — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 07:05:44 +0000

I think most of us as children expected that at some point we would be able to drive a flying car. Not a plane or a helicopter — but a car that flew. The fact that no such car has been produced, is but one of the many small attempts by reality to crush our [...] Related posts:

Cars

the top five songs about penises

John Marcotte — Tue, 09 Mar 2004 14:22:02 +0000

Considering how focused most guys are on it, it is surprising that there are not more songs about the penis. Think about it. Men have written lyrics about love; ballads about beauty�why not songs about schlongs?

Because no matter what they say about love, poetry and the theater, there are few things that a man is more attached to�both literally and figuratively�than his penis.

So without further ado, Badmouth proudly presents: The Top Five Songs About Penises.

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top five movie assholes

John Marcotte — Tue, 23 Sep 2003 08:46:40 +0000

I've always felt that action movies can be measured by the villain. Die Hard rode the performance of Alan Rickman as cynical terrorist Hans Grueber. Batman was fueled by the maniacal Joker, and the crushing tension in Silence of the Lambs was fed by the evil presence of Hannibal Lector.

That's great for action movies. But what about comedies?

I think a similar principle is at work for comedies. Instead of villains though, a great comedy requires a great asshole�not a true villain�but a person who is so instantly dislikable, that we don't mind when they are tormented the rest of the movie.

So, without further ado, Badmouth introduces: The Top 5 Movie Assholes.

the five worst sylvester stallone movies

John Marcotte — Sun, 10 Aug 2003 07:49:15 +0000

Before we get all dirty, let�s offer a moment of praise for one Sly Stallone. Tired of being a bit actor in bit parts, Stallone wrote the script for Rocky. And when the studios engaged in a bidding war for the script, Stallone had the balls to demand that he be cast in the title role, even though MGM offered him $150,000 to let Ryan O�Neal take the role. Rocky went on to win the Best Editing, Best Director and Best Picture Oscars at the Academy Awards in 1976.

And the movie catapulted Stallone into superstardom.

OK. Enough with the nice-nice.

After Rocky, Stallone started his long, drawn-out fall from glory. He made crappy movies, sequels to those crappy movies and sequels to those sequels. Rocky came back, again and again. He was joined by Rambo and dozens of other characters, all drawn with the depth of a petrie dish. His attempts at light comedy (Oscar) and legitimate drama (Copland) were abysmal failures. But compared to what I�m going to show you now, they were rousing successes.

Without further ado, I present: The Five Worst Sylvester Stallone Movies.

The Sue Sylvester Quote Machine – Glee