1. In-N-Out’s Secret Menu
2. In-N-Out’s Bible Passages
3. badmouthing the radio

1. garfield strikes back
2. why lie? i need a drink
3. trailer: why lie i need a drink?

1. trailer: why lie i need a drink?
2. the banana strikes back
3. why lie? i need milk and cookies

In-N-Out Burgers is a West Coast institution. And one of the keys to their success has been keeping it simple. There are only four food items on the In-N-Out menu: Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Double-Double and French Fries.

In-N-Out compliments the food with the standard array of Coca-Cola beverages and three shakes: chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. And that's the menu in its entirety...

...or at least that's what they want you to think. The truth of the matter is that there is an extensive "secret menu" available for those in the know. In fact, the secret items actually outnumber the items legitimately on the menu.

This isn't just stuff made up by bored employees. If you order a Flying Dutchman, "Flying Dutchman" prints out on your receipt. It's in the computer.

There is lots of information out there on the Internet about the secret menu, but no one seems to have gotten it all, and a lot of what is out there is just plain wrong. Nothing is more embarrassing than ordering a secret item that doesn't exist.

So, through dilligent research, we have managed to produce what we believe is the definitive guide to the In-N-Out secret menu.

1. In-N-Out: the 20×20
2. Badmouth is in Maxim
3. In-N-Out’s Bible Passages

Spears burst onto the pop scene in her too-short skirts, knee socks and tops tied tightly under her budding-but-not-yet-silicone-enhanced mammaries. The combination of baby-toned voice, little-girl innocence and fetish-inducing Catholic schoolgirl outfits was guaranteed to make her a huge star among middle-aged Japanese businessmen--but suprisingly it made her a star among horny tone-deaf men in America, as well.

But the bigger suprise was that prepubecent girls found a new, talent-free role model to emulate. The popularity of low-rise jeans, low-cut tops and low-quality pop music can all be traced back to Spears--as well as any number of eating disorders.

But when asked about her pubescent sexuality, Britney's message was always straightforward: no sex until marraige. But what was the queen of the prick-tease really saying to her fans? You're about to find out.

Let's listen to a three-second clip from her first hit, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" two different ways.

Here's the clip played forwards: Britney straight up "...with you I lose my mind, give me a si-"

And here it is played backwards: Britney reversed "...sleep with me I'm not too young."

Backmasking, it's not just for crappy heavy metal bands that pretend to worship Satan anymore.

For the record, I did not discover this little gem. A saw it in a flash animation elsewhere on the Internet, but I doubted its validity. So I downloaded the mp3 on my own and used editing software to make the above example myself. It's completely legit.

1. the star wars kid
2. interview: chase masterson
3. interview: warp 11

Now Nut Poppers might be the tastiest snack food on the face of the Earth. But with that name, its time on the shelves of our nation's truck stops, Kwik-E-Marts and supermarkets is limited.

So in the interest of preserving a short-lived piece of snack-food history, the Badmouth team leapt into action. I bought some Nut Poppers to conduct what may end up being the only recorded Nut Poppers taste test.

1. Kick-Ass
2. jonesing for the holidays
3. a lamb to the slaughter