Badmouth » Columns

Earth

Brian McDonough — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 19:01:27 +0000

[rating:3] Directors: Alastair Fothergill, Mark Linfield Starring: Lions, Elephants & Polar Bears, oh my! Here’s a fact: If you’re going to make a documentary called Earth and fit it into a ninety-minute run time, you are doomed to failure. Big topic, “Earth.” Even if you’re sticking to the natural world, and even if your main goal were to fetishize waterfalls and cute baby animals, you’re still never gonna produce a ninety-minute film worthy of being called … Earth. The first film to be released by the new DisneyNature label (timed to Earth Day!) is in fact a two-year-old BBC-funded documentary that was produced in parallel with Planet Earth, a series whose total ten-hour runtime sounds a little better-suited to covering the subject. Knowing this somehow makes one more forgiving of the flaws of the cinematic release. Earth feels like a poorly assembled hodgepodge of brilliant footage whose glory is nearly lost beneath weak storytelling (and a truly crap score). Imagining the filmmakers having to cut the 600 broadcast minutes they’d already culled from thousands of hours of video to get this hour and a half at least makes you appreciate how stacked against them the deck was. No related posts.

Time knows you’re not cool

Brian McDonough — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 02:42:35 +0000

Time magazine seems to fancy itself an arbiter of coolness. Yeah, take a minute to let that sink in. Bookslut, the brilliant and brilliantly named literary blog, noted on Friday that Time had interviewed Neil Gaiman. A versatile and talented writer (and great blogger), Gaiman is poised to hit a new level of fame. In [...] Related posts:

Jerry Falwell, R.I.P.

John Marcotte — Tue, 15 May 2007 22:58:11 +0000

I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say, [...] No related posts.

free speech flag

John Marcotte — Tue, 01 May 2007 23:05:57 +0000

Our government has become increasingly willing to sacrifice the rights of its citizens at the altar of corporate greed. As ridiculous as it sounds, even numbers have become “intellectual property” that corporations can claim ownership of. We here at Badmouth think that idea stinks. We want to start a movement, a movement to reclaim personal [...] Related posts:

Live Free or Die Hard

snoop dogg & me

John Marcotte — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 20:23:51 +0000

I’ve been using stock.xchng for a few years now. It’s a great source of user-contributed free stock photography. I’ve found images there for several projects, including Badmouth. In fact, it’s where I got the picture of the creepy doll heads for the banner. Because I’d mooched quite a few pictures from there over the years, [...] No related posts.

the bearer of bad news

John Marcotte — Wed, 18 Jun 2003 04:10:39 +0000

I counted nine of them through the chain-link fence. The full-grown rottweilers must have weighed 200 pounds or more. Occasionally, one would throw itself against the aluminum slats of the gate. I cursed under my breath.

This wasn't a home. It was a fortress. Brutal razor-wire spiraled along the fence, which traced the edge of the property on all sides. The house squatted, smugly secure, in the middle.

The king of this castle was threatening to unleash 1,800 pounds of canine fury unless I "got the hell off his property." His daughter, a dirty fourteen-year-old girl, was screaming that I was a "Pussy!" over and over again. Anything I might have said in response was lost in a flood of snarls, threats and slurs. I got in my car and slowly drove away.

Just another day at the "office."

No related posts.

go see “Sprited Away,” dammit

John Marcotte — Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:51:35 +0000

Buy it at Amazon

For the love of God, go see the movie Spirited Away by Hayao Miyazaki.

Spirited Away is a cartoon. It is also the highest-grossing movie in Japanese history. It made more money than Titanic. It made more than Star Wars.

Most people in the U.S. have not seen the film. It was barely released by Disney last year. Although it recieved the best reviews of any movie in 2002, Disney barely advertised the release. Perhaps they realized how lackluster their own recent animated features would seem compared to this masterpiece.

At any rate, it was a crime. This movie should have been bigger than The Lion King. Instead, my wife and I, along with my niece, comprised about half the audience when we saw it on opening night here in Sacramento.

Disney has put the movie back in the theater after it won the Best Animated Feature Oscar, so you have a second chance to see it on the big screen. Get off your butt and go.

The movie is great. Like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or The Princess Bride, it is a rare film that is equally entertaining for children and adults alike. But Spirited Away has a sense of quiet magic about it that those other films do not possess--a Tolkein-esque feeling of legends and gods long forgotten.

The movie is also being released on DVD on April 15th. You should all buy a copy then. Preferably, you should buy one from Amazon by clicking here. If you do, I get a nickle or something. Amazon is offering 25% off for preorders, so it ain't a half-bad deal.

But I don't want to make it look like I'm just trying to sell you something here. The important thing is to see the movie. Right now, you've been offered a rare second chance to see a classic on the big screen.

Take it.

you like me, you really like me

John Marcotte — Sun, 27 Oct 2002 22:22:37 +0000

Well it's official.

I'm funny. I'm damn funny.

Badmouth is the best "Weird and Humorous" Web site in Northern California according to the judges of The Dotties.

long, hot, estrada action

John Marcotte — Tue, 13 Nov 2001 22:53:41 +0000

From: Kelly
Sent: Sunday, November 11, 2001 6:01 PM
To: john@badmouth.net
Subject: Hey John

Stop posting your sick sh** on my friend Kathy's group and secondly stop talking your sick sh** about Erik. I'm good friends with two of his good friends and I'll be sure to pass along your sick talk onto them to give to Erik, so he can handle your kind legally. I know Erik's wife and she is a wonderful lady. Get some conseling, as I seriously think you need some.

erik estrada kissed me

erik estrada kissed me

John Marcotte — Mon, 05 Nov 2001 07:31:16 +0000

So I sat on the steps with Estrada. He took my tape recorder and spoke his answers directly into the mike. He had done interviews before. He dropped his spent cigarettes and put them out with a twist of a suede-covered boot. His outfit dripped fringe and suede and turquoise. I know it sounds ugly, but he pulled it off. It was like someone gave Steven Segal taste in clothing. Related posts:

long, hot, estrada action