I read somewhere that Jim Davis doesn’t actually have much to do with Garfield anymore. There’s a factory of wannabe cartoonists churning out endless “I hate Mondays” jokes in a sweatshop somewhere in Indiana. I think those cartoonists probably cherish the end product with the same amount of pride that a 14-year-old Bangladeshi girl feels when she finishes her 1,000th pair of Nike Air Jordans. I wonder if Davis chains his workers to their desks?
The jokes in Garfield are beyond stale. The “art” is factory produced and devoid of any passion. They aren’t even trying.
Simply put, Garfield sucks. It is an abomination, a complete waste of ink and paper. It never makes me laugh. I don’t think it ever makes anyone laugh. If I ever walk up to you on the street and say “Man, did you read Garfield today? It sure was funny,” shoot me. If I tell you “Family Circus” was funny, shoot me twice. The alien would be in complete control by that point.
I vaguely recalled that Garfield was funny, once — long ago. There was an avalanche of Garfield watches, coffee mugs, notebooks and other assorted merchandise that flooded the market in the mid-eighties. There had to be something behind the hype, right? It all culminated in the stupid Garfield doll with suction cups on its paws that you could stick in the rear window of your car. I wonder how many people Garfield helped kill due to obstructed vision? I bet no one even kept track.
I did a little research last summer. I was at a used bookstore when I came upon a treasure-trove of old Garfield books. “Garfield Gains Weight.” “Garfield Sits Around The House” and the extremely aptly named “Garfield Wastes Space.” I thought to myself, “Aha! Here is my chance to read the original Garfield comics. The ones that started it all. The ones that were funny.
I was so young and so naive.
There are no funny Garfield books. It’s all a myth. Garfield has sucked from day one and will continue to suck for all eternity. Davis sold his soul to the devil to get where he is, and I fully expect him to rot in hell next to Freddy Prinze Jr. and maybe Celine Dion.
So imagine my delight when I stumbled across a discarded stuffed Garfield doll outside my friend Ed’s apartment last week. Unfortunately, his fur was lightly singed. Someone had tried to light Garfield on fire and failed.
They didn’t try hard enough.
I quickly learned why the previous attempts to kill Garfield were unsuccessful. Attempts were made to choke him as well as squash him, but much like my friend The Tick, Garfield proved “nigh-invulnerable.” Clearly, more drastic measures were called for.Now although my hatred for Garfield burns with the intensity of 1,000 white-hot suns, I didn’t want PETA complaining that I let the Satan-spawned feline suffer, so I decided to destroy his prefrontal lobes using a radical new procedure of my own devising.
Safety Tip
Always wear safety goggles when you are using small explosive devices to perform psychosurgery on a stuffed animal. Perhaps that goes without saying.
First, I made a small incision along the marsupial ridge with a medically sterile carving knife. (Well, I left it in the dishwasher for two cycles at any rate.) Using forceps and a clamp, I inserted a small explosive device behind the medulla oblongata then quickly sutured the incision back together using a staple gun I bought at a police auction this summer.
We lit the fuse.
BAM! Success! Not only did our highly illegal firecracker (thanks Aaron) destroy the frontal lobes, it pretty much destroyed the rear lobes, the side lobes and any other lobes it could find, too. Garfield was now free of all pain, and, as fate would have it, most other higher brain functions.
Now that Garfield was properly “sedated,” we moved on to phase two of the Garfield Project: Hot Time In The Kitty.
The previous owner had already attempted to burn Garfield. It didn’t work, and he gave up. We needed some help to overcome his flame retardant nature, and we found it in the form of a bottle of lamp oil we bought at our neighborhood Ace hardware store. Total cost: $3.49 + tax.
Safety Tip
Make sure your lamp oil is nice and fresh.
The firecracker left a hole in Garfield’s head that no amount of staples was going to repair, so I just dumped the lamp oil directly into his skull. I also splashed a bit on his ears and a little on his face because a) I planned on using an ear to light him up, and b) the red lamp oil looked disturbingly like blood soaked into Garfield’s fur — a little around the mouth made him fairly gruesome.
Now we were ready for the moment of truth. I carefully touched Garfield’s ear with a tongue of flame. It lit.
This is where our little kitty lobotomy really paid off. Look at how the smug, self-satisfied smirk never leaves the subject’s face, even as he is consumed by flame. There is almost something to admire there, like those Vietnamese Buddhist monks that immolate themselves. The only real difference I guess is that the monks choose to light themselves on fire to protest religious oppression, whereas Garfield was given a forced lobotomy, doused with lamp oil and lit on fire for my own personal amusement.
Speaking of my personal amusement, Garfield went up like a tiki torch from hell. After it looked like he was pretty much toast, Patti suggested that I pour the large bucket of water we had at the ready on the fiery remains of the lasagna-loving lard-butt, so we could check out the damage. Since it appeared that Garfield would happily burn all night, leaving a rather uninteresting black stain instead of a corpse, I agreed.
Here is the result. As you can see, around 90 percent of Garfield’s epidermis was burned away in the experiment, along with distinguishing features such as the eyes, ears and whiskers. The inner “cat meat” was alternately charred and exposed. The remaining pieces of skin hang loosely off the body only attached at points. It was quite disgusting.
I feel I can say with confidence that — baring some sort of unholy voodoo ceremony a la Child’s Play — Garfield is dead. The experiment was a complete success from both an artistic and a humanitarian point of view.
We then decided to drop the corpse in the Ace Hardware bag that the lamp oil came in because charred stuffed animals stink to high heaven. I thanked Garfield for his involuntary contributions to science then dumped him in the garbage in a private ceremony attended by a few friends and relatives. That ends the first badmouth science experiment.
Oh, wait! I forgot something!
As the flames roared higher, I noticed a man watching my experiment from a second-floor window in the house behind my apartment. I walked over to talk to him. He expressed some concern that I was going to “light his house on fire.” I listed my numerous safety precautions. I don’t think he bought it.
My new friend then asked why I was doing this. I explained I had a Web site and that I had found Garfield and thought lighting him on fire would be a hoot. (I didn’t want to get into a deep theological discussion as to why Garfield was the epitome of evil and hatred in the world.)
Then my neighbor said, and I quote, “So this is going to be a regular thing, then?” I told him no — but perhaps I was too hasty. Maybe every Saturday night could be sacrifice night. We could get more stuffed animals, more lamp oil ? maybe I could talk my friends into dressing up in weird robes and chanting. Praying that through some miracle of transubstantiation, our sacrifice in effigy would burn away the unholy blight that has infested the comics page.
Anyone got a “Cathy” doll?
Special thanks to photo girl Patti, who made this project possible.
Related Stories
May 4th, 2003 at 4:06 pm
What is wrong with Garfield???? He rules the comic
pages! I think you need to get a life if that is
the way you spend your time.
May 4th, 2003 at 4:24 pm
I’m glad Garfield’s dead. I never liked him anyway. Heathcliff rocks!
May 4th, 2003 at 4:25 pm
The sad thing is that I have been burning small toys, stuffed animals, and Hot Wheels cars since my childhood. I would love to join your Saturday night burns/rituals. A Cabbage Patch Kid or Gizmo doll would burn nicely.
May 4th, 2003 at 4:29 pm
ummm i just want to point out that you said the garfield stuft doll was allready burn alittle before you got it. so even if the guy was worth money, he was already rendered valueless by the prefire… so you had nothing you could do but put the poor fellow out of his missery.
May 4th, 2003 at 4:35 pm
Garfield Rulz, Dudes! Check ‘im out:
http://wheretruthlies.tripod.com/Comix/Garfield/Garfield.html
Ya mon!
May 4th, 2003 at 5:10 pm
You will burn in Hell.
I love Garfield, I hate you and I don’t give a f_ck what you think.
May 4th, 2003 at 5:14 pm
The Fans of Henrie Dereface applaud your on-going project to eliminate corrupt comic merchandise. Thank you for exposing the raw underbelly of the mega-comic-corporations. We added your graphic story to our list of favorite links…
http://home.inreach.com/nwjonw/derefan/loadinglinks.html
…And congratulations on winning a Dottie, especially since the comic syndicate tries to control the outcome of all awards ceremonies. We look forward to your next important project.
May 4th, 2003 at 5:20 pm
Just thought you might like to know that you’re not the only person who’d like to see Garfiled dead.Check out: http://www.btinternet.com/~scragends/archive/garfield.jpg
May 25th, 2003 at 8:35 pm
ong… you peeple are sooo sad…. have you nothing better to do than burn a stupid stuffed Garfield then complain about something absolutely irrelevant in the longrun?? this is crazy business.
May 26th, 2003 at 10:02 am
A fine effort to advance scientific knowledge. Keep it up.
You might change your opinion about that other strip, however, if you check out the Dysfunctional Family Circus archive
http://www.wildsea.net/dfc/
May 26th, 2003 at 8:35 pm
I’ve seen the Dysfunctional Family Circus before. It actually makes the strip entertaining, something Keene has failed to do for 40 years.
May 28th, 2003 at 6:56 pm
It really does look like raw meat inside the Garfield. Well done! Can you do Ziggy next?
May 29th, 2003 at 10:29 pm
yuo = homogay
May 30th, 2003 at 7:48 am
Perhaps you should think of expanding to live webcam executions.
May 30th, 2003 at 9:59 am
I thought I was the only one who knew the truth about Jon Davis and his abomination.
June 20th, 2003 at 4:00 pm
Die Garfield Die! And death to all the humorless posers here who complained about the act of generosity detailed here!
June 20th, 2003 at 6:00 pm
.Rest In Pieces. I hope this does have some Voodoo properties and the awful orange fucker disappears off the face of the planet FOREVER.
It’s NEVER been funny. Objectively.
ps : You need to gird your loins and work on a serious rejoinder to Grst’s comment there - he has you writhing in the crushing grip of reason with that one.
June 20th, 2003 at 6:02 pm
I tried girding my loins once, but I developed a rash.
June 25th, 2003 at 7:31 pm
Aw, give the spoiled, unlikeable little cat a break. He should really retire, eh?
For warm, fuzzy feelings, you really need to read “Arlo and Janis” — what an adorable couple. (?) And their cat is a dead ringer for the rotten feline who owns me and whose name is Rambo.
June 25th, 2003 at 9:21 pm
Yes!!
Next stop, Beanie Babies!!!
GRILLED Beanie Babies!!!!!
My sincere thanks and admiration for saving me the trouble/expense of performing this civic contribution!
DLJ
July 11th, 2003 at 9:55 am
omg soo evil… yet so so funny! Just stay well away from my good buddy snoopy…
July 12th, 2003 at 4:50 am
Ha ha ha ha ha! Burning that Garfield doll was cool! Burn burn burn fire fire fire die Garfield die!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
Your anti-Garfield site’s pretty cool
September 30th, 2003 at 2:41 am
Wait,
You forgot that Garfield that all the wack jobs use to put in the WINDOWS OF THEIR CARS!!!! I was little then, and wondered, “What the hell is wrong with these people?…don’t they have any dignity at all!!!
It was funny when they started making Garfield’s that just had their smashed tails hanging out of the trunks.
It was must better when all that garbage went AWAY!!!!!!
October 5th, 2003 at 3:08 pm
Garfield has had this coming to him for a long time….
Oh and Lee….Snoopy should be next!!
October 7th, 2003 at 6:54 pm
hahahaha!!!! garfield SUCKS!!!!
FINISH HIM!!!!!
October 25th, 2003 at 8:52 pm
Nice work. Sadly, I share my birthday with Garfield. Davis credits giving birth to his creation on June 19. Every year on my birthday, I get the newspaper and see pretty much the same regurgitated “It’s Garfield’s Birthday!” strip. I share the author’s belief that most comic strips have outlived thier purpose, kudos to the Calvin and Hobbes guy for getting out when he did.
October 27th, 2003 at 8:04 pm
Firstly I totally agree : GARFIELD SUCKS! JIM KNOWS IT SUCKS! HE’S SICK OF GARIFIELDOM NOW! ANY ORIGNALITY HAS BEEN TOTALLY SQUISHED. And its only getting worse by the day.
A minor gripe however:
“I think those cartoonists probably cherish the end product with the same amount of pride that a 14-year-old Malaysian girl feels when she finishes her 1,000th pair of Nike Air Jordans”
Dude, you might want to look at the world map before you make those kinds of statements. There’s isnt cruel child labour of that sort in malaysia.I should know, i’ve lived here all my life,and it wasnt blindfolded.The country aint perfect, but it doesnt take any of that sh*t either.
I dont deny the existence of such exploitation in the region, but please, get your facts straight.
I read “Stupid White Men” and Moore is right- brush up on your geography and separate what you hear about the world and what you actually know for sure. The last thing i want when i introduce myself as malaysian is for some person who has no knowledge whatsoever of the country to fix their entire view of my home based on your no-harm-intended statement.
My apologies for any crass language, and take care.
October 27th, 2003 at 8:32 pm
Embarrassing geography problem noted and corrected. My apologies.
December 18th, 2003 at 4:43 am
Jim David actually does write ALL of the Garfield stips, and comics/books.
Go to http://www.garfield.com
I have purchased several of his 1 of a kind strips over the years. I have even toured his studio, you couldn’t be more wrong, or more uneducated.
December 19th, 2003 at 6:16 am
Hahaha, you’re totally right about everything concerning Garfield. Thank you for rightfully burning an affront to humanity.
December 19th, 2003 at 6:44 am
GARFIELD SUCKS IS GAY!
December 19th, 2003 at 12:16 pm
YEAH! Torch that lasagne-sucking rat!!!!!!! Thank you. You made my day.
January 2nd, 2004 at 5:21 pm
Berkely Breathed (sp?) freely speaks about Jim Davis farming out his Garfield work. I think you can do a search on the Onion’s website for the complete interview where he essentially says Jim Davis ain’t sh*t!
January 7th, 2004 at 3:30 pm
GARFIELD ROCKS!!!!!! ARE YOU PPL STUPID? I VISITED THIS SITE TO SEE HOW I COULD KILL TIME, BUT I ONLY ENDED UP FINDING OUT THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HATE GARFIELD!!!GO GARFIELD GO!!
January 14th, 2004 at 7:05 pm
Garfield is terrible, there are pretty much 5 basic jokes that davis unoriginally does variations on each week hes pretty much coasting if you read calvin and hobbes and then read garfield the paradigm shift from amzing to soulless is quite shocking,
there are really no good strips anymore it seems that all we have today is pale shadows of former strips, instead of Far side we have total dreck like “close to home” and “Reality check” instead of calvin we get the bucketts
there are some good strips out there like “pearls before swine” “monty” and “zits” but they are few and far between, most newspaper comic sections are full of dreck like ziggy andy capp hi and lois and other irrelevant strips from 40 years ago that are being written by teams of 5 people with the original artist being long dead or taking breaks from golf to sign his name on it, they even still write Beinging up father for gods sake,
there are no new insights into life or humour coming from these strips, the comics pages are a chore its liking eating a box of chocolates and biting into 10 of those weird orange mintcream ones before getting one that you sort of like in most cases the originals are far better, what we need is to have some “cartoonist reunion” with Mort Walker Jim davis, jerry hart, etc. put them into a tourbus and have the driver drive the bus off a cliff and then maybe thered be room for new ideas in the comics industry
February 5th, 2004 at 4:49 am
just a short comment to you… if garfield sucks sooo much why even waste your time dribbling for as long as you did and btw if that is your pic then your sideburns are more outdated than any cartoon
February 15th, 2004 at 4:23 am
because the fact that Garfield along with other inane strips are all we have to choose from in most newspapers while excellent strips like pearls before swine get low circulation is a travesty and should be a subject of more passion and debate than anything regarding the democratic primaries
March 9th, 2004 at 2:40 pm
A person who thinks that Garfield is not funny only deserves to die.
March 18th, 2004 at 6:19 pm
This Burning ritual has brought a smile to my face. Very well done! You should do another one soon!
March 19th, 2004 at 4:45 pm
I love GARFIELD!!!
Garfield Rocks
March 20th, 2004 at 5:56 am
This site is AWESOME!!! I think Garfield is an abomination, and is surviving solely by the support of people devoid of intellect.
March 22nd, 2004 at 5:34 pm
http://www.paulfirlotte.com
You guys should really talk sometime. You damn near rival him for warped-ness lol
Cheers!
March 23rd, 2004 at 2:06 am
I’m actually from the same area as Jim Davis and live about 20 minutes away from the Paws, Inc. uhh, compound. I have met a few employees, who seem happy, but it’s slightly annoying living in a city inundated with twice as much Garfield crap per capita as any other place in the world (I don’t know how they can possibly stand it). Every ten feet you see some kind of Garfield paraphernelia, and it is sold at virtually every store, not to mention various frightening Garfield-themed foods all over town. Rumor has it the smothering presence of Garfield & Friends in Muncie, Indiana and the surrounding areas drove Davis’s son, who went to the high school across town from mine, into a serious battle with drugs and alcohol. Good to know, huh? True story!
March 25th, 2004 at 12:01 am
How many beers did you guys have to drink to come up with such creative ways to burn a stuffed animal???? Do you really think Jim Davis gives a shit about your Garfield burning ceremony??? It’s so sad to see $14.95 plus tax of your friends hard earned money burn in flames.
March 28th, 2004 at 7:02 pm
Die Garfield-lovers! It’s because of you humourless twits that the rest of us has to suffer mediocre comics. Oh and hunger, disease and global warming are your fault too. And war, you cause war. I’m not sure about the Ebola virus, but considering what we know about you so far… probably your fault, somehow.
March 29th, 2004 at 10:49 am
the people supporting garfield are the same douchebags responsible for the success of prop comics and improv comedy.
April 4th, 2004 at 4:03 am
****quote****
Berkely Breathed (sp?) freely speaks about Jim Davis farming out his Garfield work. I think you can do a search on the Onion’s website for the complete interview where he essentially says Jim Davis ain’t sh*t!
****endquote****
Breathed isn’t the only one. In 1986 (I believe that’s when it was done, anyway), Bill Watterson granted a rare interview (though Calvin & Hobbes was only 1 year old at the time, so it was probably nothing special then) in which the interviewer asks him what he thinks of Jim Davis.
Needless to say, Watterson’s response is hilarious, even at a time BEFORE he’d been embittered by the syndicates.
You can read the interview here:
http://home3.inet.tele.dk/stadil/interw.htm
April 8th, 2004 at 10:50 pm
YOU SUCK!! If you think that garfiled sucks so much maybe you should go suck yourself and get happy… on the other hand maybe you dont have anything to suck!! lol thats a funny picture. Anyways keep your smartass possest ideas to yourself. Thanks
April 8th, 2004 at 10:53 pm
hey its me again f-er’s. go jack off. GARFIELD WILL ROCK 4EVER!!! MWHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
April 8th, 2004 at 10:56 pm
ok ok Im gonna be nice this time around…Ill try anyways. So whats the big deal about garfield anyways. I mean really why do you hate him? Just to be “cool”? cause if you do NEWS FLASH…YOUR NOT!!!!
thnaks will be checking in always so if someone wants to FIGHT with my garfieldness!! LATER
April 8th, 2004 at 11:00 pm
hehe
April 9th, 2004 at 3:31 am
hey I think that you have every right to BURN GARFIELD!! I hate him. It’s like he thinks he’s the funnyest thing that ever hit America! Whatever later dudes surfs up!!!
April 10th, 2004 at 3:35 pm
wow, the anti-garfield responses have generally been intelligent and well thought out while the pro garfield ones have been ” YOu suck morons go suck yourselfs unless you have nothing to suck! garfield will rock 4eva!” the reason that garfield is popular is because most people unfortunately are morons, saying how many books garfield has sold is meaningless, because its like saying Kenny G is a better saxophonist than Coltrane since hes sold 70 million albums. If you are someone who likes both Kenny G and Garfield you should kill yourself or at least castrate yourself or your partner to ensure that the future of the world is at least marginally less stupid. The fact is the only original progressive newspaper strip out there is “Pearls before swine” and the rest are complete hackwork. Try watching Family guy and saying that theres anything in the comics pages that compares to its level of humour theres absolutely nothing which stands up which in my opinion is pretty sad
April 22nd, 2004 at 11:24 pm
Wow.. u guys r soo gay!!! there is nothing wrong with Garfield!! Garfield rokz!!! u guys shall all burn in hell!!!!! I curse your name!!! go suk your mama!!! and u all can kiss my natural white ass!!!!!!!!
April 29th, 2004 at 3:26 am
I SURE WOULD LIKE TO GET THE DAILY COMIC STRIP
OF GARFIELD TO MY DESK TOP AT wcjzrba2@cox.net
THANK YOU ROBERT AUEN
May 20th, 2004 at 7:30 am
Now how about Celine Dion?
May 29th, 2004 at 8:54 am
Why burn Garfield? What did he ever do to you guys? You should be ashamed of yourself for burning the legendary Garfield! You should all bow down and kiss Garfields charred arse.
June 4th, 2004 at 9:36 pm
You guys are so gay. Garfield is the best. I have everyone of his books,read them alot and find them funny every time. I have enough tickets to see the movie 6 times and i will. Know why… CAUSE GARFIELD ROKZ
June 4th, 2004 at 9:40 pm
Its me again. I am so ashamed of you. Burning Garfield. I think Garfield should burn you.
June 4th, 2004 at 10:16 pm
GARFIELD ROKZ. saying garfield sucks is like saying
June 11th, 2004 at 6:49 am
What the heack is wrong with you? Just beacuase you don’t like the comic you burn a stuffed animal!!! Now that’s just stupid. If you hate it don’t read it. Waste of paper and ink talk about waste of fabric and cotton. You have some serious issues FREAK!!!
P.S. I’d shoot you anyway.
June 11th, 2004 at 7:01 am
I have a question. Why do you hate him so much it’s just a comic? God what’s wrong with you people? I’s just a cat you don’t have to burn him. If you don’t like him who gives a shit. So leave garfield alone. Don’t you have somthing better to do with you time like go makeout with your pillow? LOSSERS!!!
June 13th, 2004 at 12:37 am
Garfiels is worthless shit — and always has been. The nobodies who rush to defend this crap are just two-legged cattle, like the zombies who defend Michael Jackson.
July 3rd, 2004 at 6:36 pm
Mi relación de amor/odio con Garfield
Como tu, conozco a Garfield desde mi niñez: un extraño gato naranja pero extrañamente familiar y tierno, aunque es un malagradecido, vago y glotón aún así no desespera, más bien te gusta, a veces identificas sus comportamientos con gente que conoces o …
July 9th, 2004 at 5:34 pm
shut up insecure ass! you just dont want to accept that garfield is more popular than you! LOSSER!!!
July 10th, 2004 at 5:45 am
i think garfield is one of the best cat in and to allof you that hate him piss of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 17th, 2004 at 8:32 pm
Talk about waste,you ppl need to do something worthwhile
September 19th, 2004 at 6:16 pm
Okay, I totally love Garfield, but this post made me laugh my ASS off. (Oh if only it were that easy…heh) I had my husband read it and he had a nice laugh too. We’re cat lovers, and cat owners, but we loved this. Thanks for sharing. LOL
September 22nd, 2004 at 9:03 pm
That is so funny, and so sad. I feel the same way about Garfield, and many of the other old, overdone strips that, mind bogglingly, are still in production (Tiger, Blondie and Dagwood, Beetle Baily, Wizard of Id, Hagar the Horrible, need I go on?) Papers that devote more than a half a page to these strips are simply too lazy to find something interesting. They don’t want to take a chance on strips like Get Fuzzy or Pearls Before Swine. Just because a strip is old doesn’t make it good. So thank you for saying what’s been on my mind…
…though it makes me sad, because when I was six I had that exact same stuffed Garfield toy and I loved it. When I was twelve, it got damaged in a flood and my dad burned it, along with all of my other stuffed animals. I don’t think he realize dhow attached I was to it…Now I think I have to find one on ebay…
October 7th, 2004 at 9:30 pm
hoola como estas espero q bien
October 16th, 2004 at 10:40 pm
ke paneleiros o k k tem essa cena a ver keimar um boneko de peluxe dahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
October 19th, 2004 at 8:09 am
You know, I could be like everyone else on here and tell you that you suck or you’re going to burn in hell, but I won’t. No matter what I say, it probably won’t have an impact on you. I don’t understand what has happened to people, to burn a doll because….if you don’t like the comic strip, take it out on the creator, which you did. Burning a symbol of childhood happiness, like Garfield or any other cartoon, is just…..I don’t have a word for it. It’s beyond idiotic, cruel, cold, whatever you want to call it. Garfield is something I remember from my childhood, Lorenzo Music provided a voice that I thought was wonderful to bring life to the character. It’s your right to do whatever you want to a stuffed animal, but to me it just shows what’s happening to our world. Everything going on everywhere and we’re here burning character dolls of children’s comics. Say whatever you want about me, I can’t feel anymore anyway.
October 19th, 2004 at 5:59 pm
GARFIELD FOR EVER
October 22nd, 2004 at 11:09 am
Garfield might be cute to some, but he is not funny. Cute does not equal funny; the semi-literates who actually laugh at things like Garfield and Full House should be visibly marked so that we’ll all know to avoid them.
That Garfield can pass as funny is indicative of the dumbing down of our culture. THAT’S what makes me sad. If this effigy is a small spark of defiance to that, then I say “Well done”.
October 23rd, 2004 at 8:05 pm
hola
November 20th, 2004 at 1:40 pm
YOUUUUU SUCK ASSSSS I LOVE GARFIELD
December 20th, 2004 at 12:06 am
Personally I think someone should stick a Fire cracker in your head and see how you like it.. Why do you waste your time destroying Garfield if you loathe him so much? Burning a plush toy of Garfield is just stupid and immature, its not going to help take the cartoon out of the papers, however it may get you into some trouble if you move on to burning larger things. Garfield is the best cartoon out there, and I’d like to see you make one that has this much character.
December 30th, 2004 at 7:54 am
http://www.ipetitions.com/campaigns/garfield/
January 6th, 2005 at 11:00 am
you suck. garfield is a legend and any cartoonist and artist can see that. anyone with a sense of humour can see that. just because YOU don’t find it funny, doesn’t mean to say the rest of us don’t. there’s no point makin a massive article about why YOU don’t like garfield because none of us care.
you don’t have a sense of humour and you don’t appreciate art. garfield is a living legend.
January 20th, 2005 at 12:55 am
yes garfeild sucks big dick..calvin and hobbes all the way
January 20th, 2005 at 2:42 am
I HATE YOU!
January 20th, 2005 at 4:51 pm
hello estuvoooo exelent pero vozzzz no entenderrrr inglesssssssssss englisssss
February 17th, 2005 at 9:41 pm
nada
February 21st, 2005 at 2:53 am
What do you mean garfield sucks , if you had eyes you could see that garfield is gangsta, anybody cound see that the best cartoonist Jim Davis but how could he betray us garfield fans, just because jim davis is sort of stupid dsent mean you have to take it on poor little garfield goodness man!!!! He created the coolest cat in history he is the king of comics someone needs to put Garfield back on tv for crying out lound look at the comicsand the website http://www.garfield.com .FOUR STINKIN WORDS GARFIELD IS THE BEST!!!!!
February 22nd, 2005 at 3:34 pm
I am a huge garfield fan, however i found that execution rather amusing, and for those people who took the trouble to complain about this little humor based stunt are a the ones who are sad and pathetic, if you hated what he was doing to the chubby wee fellow then why the fuck did you keep reading?
March 13th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
I THINK U GUY R FREAKS LOOKEN 4 ATTION….ALL OF U NEED 2 GET A LIFE
AND DO U KNOW LITTLE KIDS HAVE SEEN THIS U R VERY DUMB PPL ….2 WASTE A CHILDS TOY AND BURN IT WHEN IT COULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN 2 A CHILD THAT HAS NOTHING ………LOOK AT THE CHILD AROUND U SUFFERING WANTING JUST 2 HAVE 1 TOY IT COULD HAVE BEEN THAT TOY …
I KNOW FREAKS LIKE U ONLY CARE ABOUT
URSELFS
U R JUST PLAN DUMBS ASSES
SOME 1 OUGHT 2 DO THE SAME 2 U
INMATURE LITTLE PERKS
March 13th, 2005 at 6:15 pm
Tina, we appreciate your comments and have even started a collection at the office to help buy you a spell checker and a caps-lock key.
March 13th, 2005 at 10:34 pm
wrong
March 21st, 2005 at 2:03 pm
i hate mr bennett and he is a fat wanker
March 25th, 2005 at 7:05 pm
jag vill alla ska bli hund
May 16th, 2005 at 1:58 pm
*giggle* *giggle* *SNORT* Garfield is cute, but he has to die. That is hilarious! I wish I could’ve been there when you burned garfield. : )
Get Fuzzy is the best comic ever. It’s actually funny. Go here to see it:
http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html
May 19th, 2005 at 4:17 am
Yo, it’s funny as hell, but it’s also a bit disturbing. And, is that the best you can truly do? Because if so…..LAME! Come on you could have like finished it off by pulling off the layer of fur/skin and ran it through a paper shredder or something. That would rock.
For those people who like Garfield… Get a Life!!!! I mean seriously I don’t even think a damn homeless kid would a garfield plush, what the hell would they do with it anyway? Eat it? What? If people hate Garfield, then it’s their shit, but if you think Garfield is cute and funny, well then I have something to tell you…….IT’S A FAT ASS CAT WHO SLEEPS AND EATS ALL DAY. You pansies are all dumb fucks (the ones who complain about lighting a fricken’ plush on fire.)
May 24th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
hi. it’s me again. the annoying sell proclaimed psycho bitch. i didn’t say garfield is funny. i said he’s cute. there’s a difference. a big one. i am an animal lover, so i’d obiously think he’s cute.
paper shredder… not a bad idea. i ought to try that.
FYI, a garfield plush makes a great punching bag.
next time, use MORE EXPLOSIVES! *BOOM* BWA HA HA HA! DIE YOU UNFUNNY ANIMAL! EVEN IF YOU ARE CUTE! he he he he he he he he. watch out garfield, here i come!
May 25th, 2005 at 7:36 pm
BUCKY SHALL REIGN FOREVER!
i stick with what i’ve previously said. garfield is cute, but he has to GO TO HELL!
GARFIELD = >: [ EVIL ORANGE ASS
November 2nd, 2005 at 8:45 pm
02.04.02
I’m not claiming you *ought* to set fire to your Garfield cartoon doll, but if you’re the kind of guy who feels driven to do that, you’re probably also the kind of guy who has to photograph the whole process.
November 16th, 2005 at 3:22 pm
u guys all suck because i love garfield so POOP!!!!!!!!
February 4th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
Garfield is the most soulless, repetitive, unfunny comic strip in the papers today, excluding perhaps Family Circus, Hagar the Horrible, Dennis the Menace, Wizard of Id, Blondie, Beetle Bailey, and many others that elude me at the moment. Jim Davis has inexplicably gotten rich off of a comic strip that wasn’t funny to begin with and is even less so now, and I can’t for the life of me figure out how that happened (other than the aforementioned explanation that people are idiots). Needless to say, I enjoyed the article. Davis is a hack who should burn in hell at one degree Celsius for each dollar he’s made off of that stupid, worthless cat.
This is depressing. I really need to buy that Calvin treasury that was released a few months back.
February 28th, 2006 at 10:15 am
sorry, i have to tell you how much you suck
kthxbye
April 6th, 2006 at 10:04 am
I’ve hated Garfield ever since the November 17, 2005 strip (I think that’s that date, I’m not sure). That’s the strip where Garfield looks out the window and says, quote:
“What a nice day But they never last Stupid nice day” Unquote.
I have left out the periods, because that’s what Davis does. When I go to school, I check into the library at sometime during the day, and I read the new Garfield strip. It sucks. I slam the paper down in frustration. I read the 1993 Peanuts strip directly above it. It makes me smile.
See, even the 90’s Peanuts strips are better than Garfield! No offense to that great comic, it’s just that the strips weren’t as amusing as, say, the early 60’s strips. Still a great comic, though. Charlie Brown did hit a home run in ‘93, you know.
When Calvin and Hobbes and Peanuts left the papers, the comic strip as we know it died a quick, painless death. Both those strips were the piéces des resistances of witty, thought-provoking comics. Now we have only a few mildly amusing strips (Adam is usually chuckle-worthy), and a lot of crap.
And to everyone who says Garfield is great: You need to have your faces shoved into a pile of smelling salts. Go read some GOOD comics for a change, not a dumb strip about an ambiguously gay bachelor and his cat.
April 8th, 2006 at 8:19 am
June 7th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
I actually quite like Garfield. He can be rather fun sometimes. The strips aren’t worth much today. However, the CBS cartoon Garfield and Friends was often quite witty and entertaining.
Also, he provided a necessary counterpoint to the overrated downer that is Peanuts. I remember when I was young they used to play the Charlie Brown Christmas Special followed by the Garfield Christmas Special. Everyone remembers the Charlie Brown one as being a classic. However, the Garfield one was also pretty good and the character of Jon’s grandmother was a real scream sometimes. Now, a few years ago I noticed that they now aired A Charlie Brown Christmas followed by Charlie Brown’s Christmas Tales. Part way through the second show, I was considering either turning off the TV or slitting my wrists. Who in the world thought little kids with existential angst were funny? Or that they could be funny or entertaining for that long? One strip or one special is okay, but longer than that can cause some unwelcome depression.
As for why Garfield doesn’t seem funny now. On one hand, the set of gags is generally the same as it always is. On the other, we’ve been spoiled by fresher animal-based strips like Get Fuzzy and Over the Hedge. (I don’t really care for Pearls Before Swine. Rat’s just too much of a jerk. Garfield or Bucky Katt can be jerks sometimes, but they at least make it semi-entertaining. I just want to smack Rat).
January 14th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
February 26th, 2007 at 12:56 am
April 21st, 2007 at 9:44 pm
April 25th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
You suck! Garfield is still funny in the strip (not the movies, they are too childish) and your dissing him is pathetic. Garfield is pure sarcasm most of the time and he makes me smile every morning. I still love watching him kick Odie off the table and always will. You just don’t get him, so you can go suck it!
May 7th, 2007 at 4:30 am
May 8th, 2007 at 10:59 am
August 8th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
ha ha ha ha the little bastard is dead . i hate the little fucker . die you little fuck , die . and all your bastard kids . . . . . . .
September 6th, 2007 at 10:50 am
February 19th, 2008 at 11:04 am
wow u have a lot of free time on ur hands dont ya?
May 27th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Well now, this is fairly hilarious.
A: GRAFEIDL ROXCZK!! U ALOOL SCUK CAC K 4 burngin !!!!11eleven
B: No, Garfield sucks!!!!!!! Here’s why!
C: No, garfield rocks!!!!!!!!1111
D: No, Garfield suckss!!!!!
And so on, and so forth.
Article gave me quite a chuckle, and so did all the bitching. Keep up the good work.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
garfield is the all-time worst strip in the universe.
and i say this as both an artist and a creative writer.
the artwork is the same copy every pane with only the most minor differences, and the storyline is more unimaginitive than a class in scat identification.
how the public and lame-assed editors can allow this
travesty to go on is beyond my comprehension. and i thank you folks for allowing me to vent, ‘cuz i’m a huge comic strip fan, and have wanted to have my say for ages.
August 9th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
oh, and to all of you who so viciously defend this miserable excuse for “comedy” and “art”, i suggest you get a life. learning to spell would ba a good idea too.
September 22nd, 2008 at 5:58 pm
90% of posters here are sad, both the bashers and the defenders. But the bashers are worse since they think that calling those who have a different opinion inferior is mature.
September 30th, 2008 at 9:14 am
October 1st, 2008 at 5:05 am
[...] Garfield strip funny or even amusing? I don’t know, but I did find someone with a buring hatered for Garfield. Ok, me over and out. October 1, 2008 at 3:05 pm by Asmodeane Category: Posts, RantsTags: [...]